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awa food journal
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

actually, mostfood looks different when it comes out of me,but mac nuts sure don'tatall. and quinoa lookssame also... as well as corn i remember. and some other stuff...but like bananas... buckwheat... comes out kind of brown... buckwheat took a long time to go thru

been craving something cooked / heavy today, but i know, what's the point? or nuts, salad dressing, i just want some thing heavy. or even lettuce/ tomato,
but all i really have is bananas, some oranges, and grains/onions. and don't want togo to store that bad i guess.

really overfilled my stomach again today, just like every day. it goes away quick. only did 1 hr meditation today, i will try to keep up two hours , just sitting in a good posture for 1 hour is pretty powerful. don't think i'll do another hr b4 bed.

jogged like 1 mile today indoors
ate:
water
soursop tea
6.5 pounds tangerines juiced
2 managos
1 sm papaya
6.5 pounds bananas

maybe will find some avocados soon, i have some pickedbut nowhere near ripe. i feel like eating less quantity mightbe better even if i eat more dense stuff. but i know that doesn't really work either. i just need tocut down on the food more more more.
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 3:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

10,16,14

5 pounds tangerines
6.5 pounds bananas
2c buckwheat
1/3 onion
water
lot of garlic powder
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 3:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

think i meditatedlike 1 or 1.5 hrs on 10,16, can't remember
no sunlight here the last few days, really making me want to take a road trip to the sunny side : ) but alas , i'm kind of stuck here housesittingfor the timebeing we'll see


10.17.14

think i meditated 2 hrs or 1.5,can't remember
ate:
2 pounds of tangerines juiced
2 # oranges juiced
3.5 avocados, not big ones and not really heavy ones kind of watery maybe ~600g flesh, but they tasted decent
about 2.5# lettuce
bit over 2# tomatoes
1 papaya
somegarlic powder

10.18.14

6# bananas
some pumpkin/onion/garlic powder
but i put in too much garlic powder and couldn't eat most of it because it was too spicy/strong/etc so just threw it away
1 pretty big kind of sweet avo maybe 300g flesh, i took this off a neighbor's tree and i kind of want to go back and get more even though there're like 12 avo trees at the place i'm staying

will meditate 3+ hrs today

i kind of don't feel like keeping this thing any more, but i know i keep saying it, i can see how it's nice for others and for myself in a way, but just not feeling it and i'm notsaying thatcause i want attention or someone to encourage me : )

i'm really not very horny any more but i never had any real ejaculation that i can remember recenetly, i'm notgoingto go look when my last one was, what does it matter,

agood friend emailed me yesterday for the first time in a few months.

feeling kind of lazy,lethargic, bored ,
like i'm just in a house full of food, running water, washing machine, whatever , all my needs are met... i guess none of these things are needs
why should i work if i don't have to? why would i ever have to work?
what would i do if i didn't have to work ever again in my life? like... i dunno... i'm retired or something?
now i'm thinking about finding a job to make money... so i can ... participate in this madness game? travel? chase after women? buy land? accumulate possessions? uhhh... yeah... this is gonna be great...
maybe i'll just lie here on the floor for the next 6 weeks until the owner comes back and (a) kicks me out (b) tries to get me to work ( which i'll probably do for a little bit until i get tired of it ) i'm NOT going to be that disappointed if i get kicked out of here.

i told my mom to stop giving me money because i don't want to be too dependant on her, and i thought maybe it would motivate me to get a job... but i haven't earned money in like 3 months probably... the last time i earned money i ws collecting aluminum cans and plastic bottles out of the garbage. if i had money right now, i would probably buy a state ID for !40$...because i have an addres right now, and i might as well try to get it while i still have one.

you never know when you will have to spring in to action, so, i'm feeling good about being lazy, might aswell rest up and see if i can't detox a little .xoxo
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yesterday:
med 2 hrs
no sun
ate ~ 2 pounds orangesjuiced
5.5 pounds bananas
3 or 4 starfruits juiced

ate a lot more consciously, sometimes i eatduring moments of less presence and end up eating a lot instead of eating much more slowly and actually like chewing my food and stuff

had a little miscommunication with my friend pono. he'sgoing back to cali . also i gave him a sleeping bag, my prized possession, he needs it more than i.
haven't beensleeping that well lately, was a little cold this morning (10/20), it was a cold morning. butnot sleeping bad either, just not that tired.
i've kind of told myself - no more grains, we're done with grains. i'll just eatcooked veggies and fruits now, and if i need something really heavy, it'll be avos or potatoes, but i want to be finished with grains for a while.

been wanting lettuce, tomatoe, cuce, carrots,and broccoli lately,butthey're really expensive. i could afford them though. too lazy to go to store, maybe if i still want them bad tomorrow i'll go.
kind of committed to going to this chi gongclass even though it's really far away from here and i'll have to hitchhike or take the bus which i can't afford really. and i have no money to donate to the teacher either. BUTstill i'm forcing myself to go, no excuses.
got some sunlight on my balls today ( 10/20.) xoxo
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

10.20.14

noticed tonight some little bit of semen or some on my penis, not very much though, probalby from last night?

ate:
3.25 pounds bananas
about 2 pounds oranges juiced
3-4starfruits juiced
1 medium avocado
3 passionfruits

meditated about 1.5 hrs. my neck and back have been hurting alot, and i only count time when i'm sitting up in a good posture, buthave been observing moreround the clock
sunbathed 20 min today
sungazed maybe 5 min
was grateful for even asmall amnt of sun, i shouldn't of wasted even a moment of it: )
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

been moreaware of stomach lately and it seems like im putting in way too much. all this food has been disturbing my meditation and creating back + neck pain. really need to cut my consumption in half like ASAP
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Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 5:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

stillbeen hard to meditate
did only 1 hr today, neck+back still paining
sunbathed1+ hr
sungazed 5+ min
didn't eat til 5 pm then had
10 starfruits juiced
3 lilikois
1 papaya
about 1/6 of an avocado butwasn't feeling itsojust threw it in the freezer
should of thrown it to the pigsprobably

was thinkingabout getting lettuce +tomatoes tomorrow but, ihave so much fruit here , we'll see,andi want to close down shop for a little bit and travel thiswkend
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 5:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

stillbeen hard to meditate
did only 1 hr today, neck+back still paining
sunbathed1+ hr
sungazed 5+ min
didn't eat til 5 pm ,was kind of planning 2 fast today, had water though,
but had:
10 starfruits juiced
3 lilikois
1 papaya
about 1/6 of an avocado butwasn't feeling itsojust threw it in the freezer
should of thrown it to the pigsprobably

i certainly didn't feeloverfull after eating but nothing really satisfied me much, although i really liked the lilikois most they have astrong favlour

was thinkingabout getting lettuce +tomatoes tomorrow but, ihave so much fruit here , we'll see,andi want to close down shop for a little bit and travel thiswkend
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 4:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow i really ate a lot today:
sungazed about 5 minutes, sunbathed 5-10m

ate 360g tomatoes
4 pounds of oranges juiced
1 pound of bananas
3.5 medium avocados
2 pounds of lettuce
bunch of cilantro
a 5 pound rollinia!
5 passionfruits
5 or 6 starfruits juiced
watched a lot ofcrappy tv on computer,probably 3hrs at least
meditated 1 hr
needless to say my stomach is huge + bloated etc etc

im planning to leave for the weekend tomorrow to do this qi gong class on the other side of the island... and i just feel like i'm detoxing kind of heavily... and now i want to stop so i'm stuffing all this crap down my throat... and really re-thinking about if i want to go... but... i'm pretty set on it now, and even a bit excited tochange things up a bit... but i really hate riding on the bus... this is my last time on the bus for a while... i'll just hitchhike from here on out... i don't want to ask people for money and i only have enough $ for one more bus ride.
and i got a ticket for being homeless a while ago and i hope that doesnt catch up with me for a while <3
i want to clean up a bit before i leave tomrrow, xoxo
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AlwaysAnyWayFree



Joined: 29 Sep 2014
Posts: 27
Location: Florida, US

PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awareness wrote:
....
and i got a ticket for being homeless a while ago and i hope that doesnt catch up with me for a while <3
...


wait, what is that ticket thing about? like a ticket they want you to pay at court or something? oh, or is it that one-way plane ticket thing i read about to try to get people off the island?
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

the park doesn't open until 6 a. m. and they found me in the park at like 5:58 ( they wrote 5:50 on the ticket ) ... but i might have been able to argue my way out of the ticket ... maybe... probably not... just my optimism : )

going to court would have required me to travel for 3-4 hrs one way on the bus and then walk like 6 miles up hill to the courthouse in the blazing sun... and my court date was at an inconvenient time... so of course i didn't go... and ... i dunno... i heard it would be for 90$ or could probably do community service but i don't feel like paying it and... maybe it will catch up with me... i don't think it's a really high priority for anyone at this point... sure i guess its unfortunate but one ticket in almost 11 months here? that's just the cost of living in hawaii
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Posts: 140

PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 5:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://kite9d3.bandcamp.com/track/too-true-2bgood
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