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First steps in fasting

 
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Tina



Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 11:22 am    Post subject: First steps in fasting Reply with quote

The addiction called 'food'...
First steps in fasting

As the title of this topic is saying, I am taking my first steps in fasting. It is very difficult at times, because I don't know almost anybody who has experience with that and - of course - everywhere on the internet, also on this forum, i read totally different experiences.
At this moment I have the impression that it takes too much time to be so busy with it, thinking about it, weighing decisions, and also talking and writing about it. So I will just post my experience of the last days that I wrote to Joachim M. Werdin (he suggested to write it here).

Some general information: I am female, 33 years, normal weight about 52 kilos, living in the west of Europe (at this time it's autumn here). Since a couple of months I don't eat sugar anymore (had my exceptions of course, but still) and until breaking my first fast last Friday (24th of October) I didn't eat fruits. In august I was only eating vegetables and nuts, which was really feeling great! First I was eating very, very much of vegetables, in the end a little bit less. For me it is very difficult not to eat in the evening.
In the beginning of September I started again with some spelt, rice and corn and was already feeling that it might be not such a good idea (but I like it a lot!) and the second half of September I went on a holiday to Italy where there was a lot of social pressure to eat a lot, especially pasta (which I love!) and there I ate too much, which I felt immediately: very tired, itching feet and end of intestines. It was exactly on this holiday that I started reading LSWF.
Because of my work and other obligations I planned to do a first fasting period the last two weeks of October and the first week of November. An adventure!

So here are some parts of what I wrote the last days (I copied it from several e-mails, so sometimes it might be strange):

Story of 22nd of October:
This is only the second (or maybe I should say first) day, but it's going very good. I do some Tai Chi, I do minimum 5 meditations a day, I try to stay active in house and garden like washing windows, doing dishes, I go on a walk,... and I feel good, I don't have any feeling of forcing my body and that's great!
Yesterday I was still eating a little bit of vegetables and I fell much worse (dizzy most of the time) and I was not thirsty. Today I didn't eat, I only had a few sips of lemon juice this morning, but I decided not to take anything but water anymore, because it doesn't take a lot of effort not to eat.
I have food cravings (I would really eat almost anything Smile but I don't, of course, telling myself that I can eat again in a few weeks as a kind of trick, because maybe I feel so good when I let go the emotional attachment to food that I'm not going back to eating, who knows Smile
And I am hungry sometimes (not so much and when I concentrate on other things or when I meditate it stops very quickly).
And I read that you shouldn't drink when hungry, only when thirsty. But I am not thirsty, so today for example, apart from the lemon juice with water this morning (half a glass) I just drunk about 10 sips of source water in 4 or 5 times, well mixed with saliva for a while, mostly because I thought "maybe I have to drink, because this is still a water fast" Smile I think I drank only one time 2 sips because I was thirsty.
Today I still feel fine with the dry fasting, I only had three sips of water this morning because I thought: 'Maybe I should drink more', but I didn't feel like drinking for the rest of the day, so I didn't. I feel less good in comparison to yesterday: pressure on my chest (my heart, my lungs, my stomach...? I have no idea!) and from this morning on a very low blood pressure - that went better this afternoon after sitting on a stove that kept me nicely warm (because I'm quiet cold, which is normal of course) and after some Tai Chi and a calm walk. And this evening even better than this afternoon, after a very short alternate shower and a very nice meditation. My concentration during the meditations is rather bad, but I keep on doing it anyway.
Furthermore I really feel like eating - although I don't, without harming myself (I am hungry at times but I concentrate on other things and it stops very soon). I try to follow a diet of vegetables and nuts, even without fruits, which I really like, but I think it is too sweet for the Candida I'm having symptoms of so I didn't eat fruits for a while now although I love them! But now I really feel like eating carbon-stuff like spelt, rice, corn,... or even cookies with sugar, which I don't eat in my diet of the last months (although I must say that I did it a few times).
Yesterday I told myself I could have a vegetables juice if I really wanted to eat, but I knew it wouldn't satisfy me because I was much more feeling for nuts, so I could leave it easily. At the other hand I am sure that carbohydrates would ask so much energy from my body that I would be so tired that I would regret it very much.
I also notice that I can enjoy a smell - for example my sister made bread this afternoon and of course I felt like eating it and of course I didn't, but I went to smell it and enjoyed that. I knew I didn't have to eat it (I would feel horrible after eating it, I think) to really enjoy the smell.
So I keep on being very motivated to do this fasting - dry since this afternoon - and I promised myself not to force my body, just to see how far I can get without doing harm, concentrating on what really counts. The only thing I am worried about is if my blood pressure would get too low. I think the solution is to move more, to walk more, to do Tai Chi every hour. I don't feel like turning back to eating too soon - and of course I will do it when my body asks for it, but I will first try to give it energy in other ways.

Story of 23rd-24th of October:
I didn't feel as if I was forcing myself. The only thing today was that the last days my blood pressure was low to very low in the morning and better in the afternoon and very good in the evenly. But today it didn't go up anymore, also not after Tai Chi or drinking water. At 16 o clock it was still too low to go for a walk, so I felt it was time to start eating again.
It was a wonderful experience to smell the apple very well and to eat it consciously, really - it was the first apple in half a year Smile chewing until it became juice of course. And one hour or so later I also had two walnuts, same process, really sooo good Smile in my belly all feels well, it moves a bit but no pain or uneasiness. Almost two hours later I put some hot water on a cup of very nice, organic dried fruits and now I am very slowly drinking the water of it, mixing well with the saliva. I will wait with eating the soaked dried fruits until I have gone to the bathroom to see how I have digested the apple and the nuts. What an adventure!

Story of 25th of October:
Today I went on with eating fruits: one pear and some weakened dry fruits about 11 o'clock (for about one hour I was eating consciously). I got hungry in the afternoon but wanted my stomach to take some rest too and planned to eat about 17 o'clock. Finally it was at about 19 o'clock that I first ate 5 little nuts and half an hour later two bananas, an apple and some coconut. I feel totally great about all this: I don't need a lot of food and still listen to my body. It's great to eat the slowest possible and so to taste everything really well. Of course it is still difficult not to eat more, but I know I can do it, that's wonderful!
I am very curious how it will go when I have to go to the bathroom, because nothing happened yet. My belly rumbled just a little bit, but not a lot of movement (also no pain). We'll see!

Story of 26th of October:
First I'll tell you that also today I didn't eat much, thanks too the CE method (http://breatharian.info/texts/PrinciplesConsciousEating.pdf), and I feel absolutely fine. I am really craving for other things, but I don't want to stop the detox-process after these days of fasting. It's a serious job, because my thoughts are going to longing for eating other stuff than my body needs very soon, also during meditations of course Smile
I find it crazy that without eating anything my blood pressure is so low, and with eating one or two pieces of fruit a day, everything turned back to normal.
So this morning around 11.20 h. I had a mango, which was great (spitted out the half of it after having swallowed the juice, each time after more or less 3 minutes of chewing) and after that 7 very little hazelnuts that I was chewing for more then 10 minutes. I felt very good about that. Later, around 13 h. I got hungry but went for a biking tour of a little hour, which was better than eating Smile Hunger went and came back, went and came back,... At about 14.15 h. I was still feeling hungry but I only wanted to eat raw fruit or raw vegetable. I was craving for the pure, organic, from the garden vegetable soup my roommate made, which was smelling really great. So I asked "What is it?" Suddenly I became sad: "I am eating so healthy all the time and now I have to eat even more healthy and I can't even have a soup because it's boiled?!" And so I talked about all this with my roommate, who also started to read your books and who lives also very healthy (compared to...) and about not putting the goals too high and about this detoxication process that is really working (I think) and about BEING, regardless of who you are or what you achieve. After that conversation the hunger was all gone and I only had a few sips of water two hours later. At 19.15 I wasn't really hungry, but ate a handful of home-grown yellow cherry tomatoes with some family that was visiting, so more because of the social thing. I didn't eat it fully consciously, but it felt OK.
And in the evening it starts again: Very little hungers came ?nd went between 20 h. and 21.45 h. I didn't want to eat less than 4 hours before going to bed and I was planning to try to go to sleep at about 00h. (I have holiday also next week) At 21.45 h. I decided to take my time and to ask seriously "What is it?" I asked if my body really needed the substance 'food' as in 'vegetable, fruit, nut, grain,...' Yes. So I was summing up some things I found I could propose my body to eat Smile Luckily a pear showed out to be the best to eat. I thought: OK, a pear is fine, because I didn't go to the toilet since the last enema I did (and that was Thursday evening!) So I ate the very nice organic pear with CE, spit out a bit of the fibres and felt my belly moving a bit, nothing more. Now, after a little two hours (without hunger) I turn up with the hiccup (don't know what that means in stomach-land!) and later some pressure on my stomach.

Story of 27th of October:
After a nice autumn but sunny walk this morning and a few sips of water when I was thirsty (having hunger but postponing eating a bit to get energy of walking and sunshine) I had one and a half piece of chicory, CE, at about 11.30 h. At 14.30 I was getting hungry again and really felt like eating carbohydrates. I took some spelt flakes (not much of course) and asked my body if it could handle some pumpkin and sunflower seeds to add some flavour. But then I boiled the spelt and the seeds I used were roasted (very very very nice taste, eating it consciously) although normally I will soak seeds and nuts before eating them. At about 17.00 h. I started to feel hunger again. It was a hard moment (and day, because the cravings are really getting stronger and stronger), because I don't feel enough support around to help me discerning well and encouraging. On the contrary: "you lost a lot of weight (which isn't true, I only lost a bit), better be very careful", although I am not forcing my body and telling them! Anyway, I notice I talk too much about it with people who are not interested enough in the subject. It really hit me a bit, this reaction of my friend (with words) and my sister (without words): my blood pressure suddenly got very low and I got very hungry. So I took some time to sit down and feel how I want to be in this. After that I just went on doing the things I was doing and I went for a meditation, but I was very tired and my stomach was aching a bit - I think because the spelt was too heavy and takes a lot of energy to digest (so less energy for detoxication).
After working on my computer and writing all this, I feel much better. I will do an enema this evening before going to bed, because I didn't go to the toilet after the last enema Thursday evening!

The big thing for me is that this whole process is not about not-eating! Of course a big part of my motivation is detoxication, that helps me a lot with not giving in on my cravings. But because of the great addiction the not-eating and the feeling-like-eating and the cravings and all the recipes that come into my head while meditating - or whenever Smile are taking so much space that at the end of this day of Conscious Eating I think I will try for another couple of days to keep on doing CE, but after that I might go for the gluten free vegan diet and as much as possible the raw vegan between the fasting periods that will surely follow this first fasting. I shouldn't be perfectionistic, but I want to keep focussed at the same time.
Maybe like that I can empty my kitchen from all the stuff I clearly don't need and won't need in the future - but can't give away yet because I really feel like eating it!! Very Happy I think I am still too addicted and maybe it's better to observe well and to get to a more pure lifestyle (as I did in the month of august: only veggies and nuts), then to cut off so strictly that it's really taking all the attention and energy of my day... And let's hope the detox is still going further when I eat some things I wouldn't eat with CE... Maybe I can have longer periods of CE, fasting and again CE and get used to more and more pure food.

Well, this is it for now. Getting back soon I suppose. Don't feel like giving in, but probably it's also a matter of exercise, getting used to, feeling what it does, eating more and more conscious,...

Thank you, Joachim, for all your support and answers to questions. I am really grateful. I am sure this is not the end of my fasting and CE adventure!
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Tina



Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2014 10:44 pm    Post subject: Next steps in the addiction called 'eating' Reply with quote

I told you this wasn't going to be the end of my adventure. I will give a summary of what I have been going through the last days. It has been really interesting. Although I don't feel too good about it - especially my body is protesting (of course!) - it gave me a lot of insight.

Although I was tired of giving fasting and food cravings so much attention and I concluded on the evening of the 27th of October that a vegan diet would be good enough for me, the day after writing about my frustrations (so 28th of October) went really good. I ate a banana with some coconut (CE) in the morning, at noon I ate some almonds and in the afternoon an apple and a bit of Carobe. I felt really fine all that day, not hungry and I didn't have a lot of cravings. I was really fulfilled in the evening, because I just did the things I had to do and I had spent enough time to meditate and to do Tai Chi.

But then, the next day (29th of October), I didn't take the time to meditate in the morning, I had a bit of stress because I had to leave, and while getting my stuff I made some warm food (chicory and sweet potato with some garlic and a little bit of olive oil). I ate a bit of it (CE) before leaving and I really enjoyed to eat the warm food. In the car I seemed to be still hungry, so I ate some more while driving - as conscious as possible. It took me about 1,5 hour to eat everything I made; after that I felt satisfied and after that I became a bit tired. When I arrived I didn't do the meditation I planned, but started doing the things I needed to do on my computer. In the meantime people were making a very nice lasagne. And in stead of taking a walk - which I really could have done, nature is very beautiful over there and I had the time - I let the smells overwhelm me and I decided I could have some too. I really enjoyed eating the lasagne (vegetarian, but not vegan and with a lot of stuff in it that I wouldn't eat normally: quorn, soy cream, mushrooms and cheese), but after that I couldn?t stop anymore. And that is the worse thing that I have been experiencing for a few days now. After the lasagne I had two spoons of hazelnut cream before I got back into the car, where I got very, very tired of course. Coming home I started eating some nuts and in the evening I ate the crumble my sister made (pear, white flower, sugar, things I don't eat anymore since half a year) and after that some sugar free cookies and a cup of coffee.
I was totally, totally stoned when I went to my room (and I really felt like smoking, but luckily I didn't have any tobacco Smile
This was the most interesting day, though, because I really felt and saw the addiction-side of eating, and the reflection of that in other things in life: talking, looking for company, recognition from others, being in love,... all things that ask a lot of attention and seem to go automatically without having the choice to act or not. The most interesting I found was that by having this fasting and this awful and harming break of fasting, I experienced something I know for a long time - and I experienced of course also in other situations - but this brought it back in front of my mind: FOLLOWING WHAT I LIKE (my desires) AND NOT DOING WHAT I DISLIKE (my aversions) IS THE BIGGEST PRISON THERE IS; ABSTAINING FROM MY LIKES AND DISLIKES, MY DESIRES AND AVERSIONS, AND FOLLOWING THE LIMITS AND THE REAL NEEDS (in this case of my body, but it can also be a need of the soul of course) LEADS TO REAL FREEDOM, STRENGHT, PEACE AND WELL BEING. This is really what I had experienced by fasting and by breaking the fast today and I was and am very, very grateful for that.

But then the next days: 30th & 31st of October and 1st & 2nd of November, I experienced the very strange thing that although knowing and feeling what is the best, it is f****** difficult to go for that instead of following my desires and aversions. How is that possible?! Such a resistance for the best, such an attraction of the worse?! I really have no answer to that but 'addiction' and 'temptation', a limited state, which is not natural at all.
All these four days I started the day very good, with the best intentions, with renewed strength and intent, and during the day everything went well and I felt strong and good although I was not doing CE, I wasn't eating too much and only fruits and nuts, but each evening I ate too much (although vegan), really too much - and the evening is the worse moment of the day to eat for me (probably for everybody).
My body is resisting and giving very clear signs that this is very unhealthy and I don't feel good about it, but still it is what I am going through the last days: in the morning the good intentions of quitting this addiction, during the day being powerful and not giving in, in the late afternoon giving in just a little bit, but then in the evening going further and going totally loose, crossing the limits of spirit, body, mind and soul and with a really destructive energy: "F*** it all, I am doing what I want.' Only tonight I seem to stop this process (I ate too much already this noon and after that only a little bit)
Funny to see how I can't just eat a little bit of something that I feel is not so good for me, for example just two cookies in stead of ten. Here the addiction becomes very clear: it's not a choice of doing something differently, it's obsessive. I feel much better when I am only eating consciously, listening very, very well to my body.

I am so grateful that my body gives me these signs; that I can understand it and I know I can listen to it. I felt during the fast and the first days after fasting that it was really good and empowering, setting me free in a way I didn't know in that sense, just because I was respecting the boundaries, accepting and feeling peaceful, joyful and strong within the limits that were given (the real needs of my body and the meditations I did five times a day). This is where I am going back to - and doing it also these last four days wherein I was experiencing the eat-addiction, so I am meditating again, doing some Tai Chi. I feel it's getting better (today better then yesterday) and I will be back on track very soon. It's a good experience all this.

And let's think about the fact that this is just a mirror of a lot of addictions in life Smile

"BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO

IS NOT FREEDOM
FREEDOM IS NON-ATTACHTMENT

TO ATTRACTIONS AND AVERSIONS"
- Daily Quote of Abbahji.org on the 13th of October
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JMW



Joined: 29 Nov 2004
Posts: 396
Location: Poland, Poznan

PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2014 9:21 pm    Post subject: interesting Reply with quote

Interesting. It can be read as a book. Feel free to continue.
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Tina

I notice the exact same things, like if I start eating, I have a hard time stopping. And the more I try to be strict, the more I like to let loose. Seems the opportunities arise around me ALL THE TIME to eat "goodies" and take me off my path. I can't eat anything without feeling pain in my body. Not even nuts and veggies, it all hurts.

Also when I eat now I get lazy...I don't really want to exercise or meditate, I just do mindless entertainment or listen to music.

My face is also changing so much, like when I eat my body and face look different and it must seem weird to people who are around me but I haven't asked anyone yet....

Good luck with everything!
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 91
Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 7:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Next steps in the addiction called 'eating' Reply with quote

Tina wrote:
FOLLOWING WHAT I LIKE (my desires) AND NOT DOING WHAT I DISLIKE (my aversions) IS THE BIGGEST PRISON THERE IS; ABSTAINING FROM MY LIKES AND DISLIKES, MY DESIRES AND AVERSIONS, AND FOLLOWING THE LIMITS AND THE REAL NEEDS (in this case of my body, but it can also be a need of the soul of course) LEADS TO REAL FREEDOM, STRENGHT, PEACE AND WELL BEING. This is really what I had experienced by fasting and by breaking the fast today and I was and am very, very grateful for that.


Hi Tina, it's interesting to read your account, thanks for sharing, and welcome here...

What you said in bold struck a note with me. I find this more and more...freedom, I mean inner freedom, seems to be about being without reaction to something one likes, or doesn't like. I think about tough situations in life, where it's easy to run off from one situation to another, looking for something better... Instead of cultivating inner peace and kind of growing internally, it's easy to bounce around like a ping-ping ball from one thing to another Very Happy

Yes, it's true, desire and aversion are the same thing, it's amazing... It's only just recently I've started to get that, properly...

and only through my own slow food refinement process, have I got that I think... instead of being dizzy with food...

thanks again for sharing!

Charles
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