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Third day of dry fast

 
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 9:34 pm    Post subject: Third day of dry fast Reply with quote

I am feeling extremely angry. I don't like feeling this way. I feel very guilty about feeling angry. I want to be a nice, kind, considerate person who is a pleasure to be around.

My mother is the expert at being graciously polite and considerate, only it is something she does rather willfully. It doesn't come from an authentic core. It's more of a mask of conditioned correct behavior. She doesn't really know how to connect with people on an emotional level. She isn't really interested in other people. She has a very narrow, closed mind. She is extremely nice and polite and long-suffering, sort of. But not really. Only she really is. Only not really. I guess she's just very confusing for me. At the moment, I feel absolutely infuriated with her.

I'm in the third day of a dry fast. Previous dry fasts have resulted in my becoming aware of multiple personalities, dissociated child personalities whom I slowly learned to become aware of, listen to and allow to express themselves in my body. This was a very confusing process that required 3 years of solitude. I often talked out loud in a little child voice, using little child grammar and expressions. (Sometimes I still do, but only in private.) I didn't want to try to explain myself to anyone. Professional help was out of the question. I feel I made a great deal of progress towards integrating my alters in those three years. The end result surprised me. I was guided to move to my parents' home and this is where I am living now.

While growing up, I was very uncomfortable living in my mother's house and just wanted to turn 18 so that I could move far, far away and have my own home. For all of my adult life, I have been very estranged from my parents, finding them very difficult if not impossible to communicate with. Up until now.

My father was an alcoholic while I was growing up. He has been sober now for about 25 years. My mother is also doing much better now that she does not have five children to care for. I am now 58. Both of my parents are now 84.

It is my father who asked me to stay with them. My mother was not welcoming. My father has always been the more nurturing parent.

So, I've been living at my parents' house for the past five months and now I'm dry fasting. I have discussed breatharianism with them but they don't approve of it. They are meat eaters and find even the idea of vegetarianism difficult. My father's career was in the field of nutrition, so he is not ignorant, but he still eats a very conventional diet.

I haven't told them that I'm dry fasting. I guess this is why I'm feeling so furious with my mother at the moment. She isn't interested in the slightest thing about my life, my values, my goals, and yet she is supposedly the nicest, kindest most caring person in the world. In her opinion, anyway. Everyone else knows how difficult she is.

You must be wondering what on earth I'm doing dry fasting in my parents' home when they are not in sympathy with what I'm doing. Sometimes I think my guidance is completely crazy. Often, I think my guidance is completely crazy. It always takes me to places in myself that I don't want to know about. Like how furious I am right now. I don't like feeling like this.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today is the fourth day of my dry fast. Shortly after I wrote my post yesterday, my father asked me if I had ever passed out while fasting. I answered that no, I had never passed out. My mother was also standing there, listening. This seemed to reassure them and me, as well, as they were both calm and relaxed.

This morning, my mother came to my door and told me that she hoped I had a really wonderful day. She said this in a kindhearted tone. Translation: "You are pathetic. I am angelic. I wish I could help you but you are very difficult to help. I am doing my best to help you." I answered her with polite words but with resentment, my angry feelings bubbling up again, not as ferociously as yesterday, though.

After she left, I thought about this carefully. I need to give myself permission to recognize that even though she is behaving in an ostensibly sweet and kind way, she is still working in opposition to me. She is most definitely NOT supporting me. And I don't want to allow that to trigger anger in me. Nor do I want to succumb to her seduction. I need to see clearly what is happening and choose to feel at peace.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today is still the fourth day of my dry fast. I thought of a way to help myself overcome angry feelings towards my mother. I remembered a book that I have read several times, called Prison to Praise, by Merlin Carothers. The idea in the book is that no matter what happens in your life, no matter how disastrous or unfair it might seem to you, you should make it a habit to always thank God for your experience. You should always say thank you and cultivate a spirit of gratitude to God.

I do not have it in my heart to praise my mother for her behavior towards me. I do feel grateful for my parents, though. I do care about them. And I can find it in my heart to be genuinely grateful for my experience with them, as I feel it is helping me to be more clear in teaching me to trust my intuition about people rather than placing too much faith in their words.

So, this is how I have decided to handle these angry feelings. I will just say thank you to God for this experience.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 1:25 am    Post subject: ET implants Reply with quote

This is still my 4th day of dry fasting.

A while ago, I ordered a book by Ana-Maria Theis, called Christic Codes. She has videos on youtube about her transition to being breatharian. The book came in the mail yesterday. I've been reading it today.

The book is fiction. I don't find it well written or easy to read. Oddly, my guidance kept urging me to keep reading, keep reading, whether I found it easy reading or not. I couldn't understand why, but I kept reading.

Eventually, I came to the part in the book where to main character is abducted by aliens and forced to participate in activities she abhors. I started to guess why I was being guided to read this book but still didn't understand clearly until I started asking more specific questions.

I know that I have had ET involvement throughout my life, although I have almost no actual memories of the experiences. I once had an ET implant removed by a teacher/healer from the Barbara Ann Brennan School of Healing.

My guidance told me I needed to remove ET implants. I searched on youtube and found a video called Healing Code to Remove Etheric Implants. First, I scrolled down and read the comments to see what people had to say. The comments section was reassuring, especially since the person who posted the video responded to peoples' questions and comments. So, I went ahead and watched the video.

The video lasted for 6 minutes and was entirely silent. There was just visual imagery on the screen, some lights and colors, and a picture of hands cupped around a circle with numbers in the middle.

I don't know if it's made any difference, but I feel good about giving it a try.

My guidance now says I can stop reading the book, even though I am far from finished.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 1:08 pm    Post subject: eating in a dream state Reply with quote

This is the fifth day of my dry fast.

Last night, while I was sleeping, I dreamed that I was eating some sort of berry, similar to a cranberry, but sweeter. I woke up in the middle of this and thought, "Oh dear. I'm eating. Am I hungry?" I was afraid it might mean I should break my fast soon. I was tired and fell back to sleep.

This morning, I asked my guidance about it. I was told that I was being fed on another plane of consciousness and I should not be afraid to accept this nourishment.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:50 am    Post subject: Olga's dog Reply with quote

Today is the 7th day of my dry fast. I am so happy to see the new video: Dog living on coconut juice - Breatharian Olga Podorovskaya.

Olga, the Russian breatharian, has raised her dog, Leta, on juices since she was a puppy. Her dog is now three and a half years old and is a liquidarian living on coconut juice.

I am so happy to see this, as so many people look to the animal kingdom to see what is natural for humans. We have become so disconnected from nature, this is helpful, but it is not the full story. Our consciousness is greater than the consciousness of animals. Our consciousness has the potential to transform the consciousness of animals. The lion can indeed lie down with the lamb in peace. But WE need to show the way. And I feel that breatharianism is very important in this transition. I feel tremendous gratitude towards Olga for being such a wonderful pioneer in this direction.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:55 pm    Post subject: Pendulum guidance Reply with quote

This is still the 7th day of my dry fast.

I thought I would say something about how I receive guidance.

A long time ago, I started using a pendulum to help me choose supplements and to determine the dosage. Over the years, I began using it for asking questions about other things.

During one period, I used my pendulum so intensely and for such extended periods, that I developed the ability to receive answers through my finger without the need for a pendulum. I simply ask the question and my finger automatically moves in response, either clockwise for yes, or counter-clockwise for no. This is a very quick and easy way for me to receive yes/no answers. Sometimes, I have to sit still and quietly ponder for quite a while, though, to intuit or guess the right question to ask. And then I ask more questions to be sure I am interpreting the answer correctly.

My guidance is saying that I need to dry fast for one more day after today, for a total of eight days. After that, I will start drinking water. My guidance has chosen a bottled spring water called Balance for me. It has Australian flower essences added.

I would have chosen the less expensive gallon-sized bottle of spring water. I often argue with my guidance, saying things like: I sure hope you're keeping my budget in mind. Yes, yes, comes the reply. Don't worry. So I try not to worry.

I always feel like I'm going way out on a limb, following this sort of guidance. But it keeps my life interesting.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:02 am    Post subject: Twin soul Reply with quote

It has been several days now since I broke my dry fast. I've been eating a lot of plain yogurt and kefir and raw foods: cabbage, tomatoes, cucumbers, grape juice, water and herbal teas, as well as some supplements: vitamin D3, B-complex, C, milk thistle, magnesium and garlic. I don't have any plan as to what to eat but go grocery shopping every day and ask my pendulum-finger for instructions. Today I had a big bowl of four avocados and four tomatoes with sea salt.

In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned a three year period of solitude in which I worked on becoming aware of, nurturing and eventually integrating alter personalities. My intuition has told me that I have successfully integrated my previously dissociated alters, and yet a little child personality continued to occasionally express itself using my voice. This puzzled me. Was this an alter? Was it a part of "me" or was I channeling another being who was not "me"? The answers I would get from my pendulum-finger were confusing. This little being was "me" but it wasn't "me".

I feel reluctant to write about this, mostly because I don't have much clarity on it yet, but also because I don't have the feeling of an interested audience, I don't have anyone drawing me out, only maybe someone to quietly notice how crazy I am... but this is the biggest "breakthrough" following my dry fast, so I want to mention it.

I've realized that the little child being who has occasionally expressed itself through me even after my little child alters have been integrated is a part of the soul of my 27-year-old son. He is my twin soul. He is alive and well.

For the past few years, I have been mothering my child alters. Apparently, my son also needed some mothering, so he joined the crowd. Without any conscious awareness of doing so.

My son and I have a tremendously deep emotional connection but we have had many prolonged and difficult separations beginning in his early childhood. Prior to my becoming aware of my alters, it was my son who began financially supporting me, providing me with the freedom to concentrate on healing.

My son has been enormously generous with me, financially and practically, and yet, emotionally, my relationship with him has been extremely painful and full of anguish. This is because my love for him runs so deep and yet there has been little understanding or communication.

Without using my finger-pendulum, I never would have guessed that he is my twin soul. I didn't know that twin-soul relationships could be so disturbed and so painful while being incredibly supportive, all at the same time.

So anyway, today I finally realized "who" this little being is and a peaceful and harmonious agreement has been reached between us that he will return to his adult soul, leaving me free to continue my journey alone. Several months ago, he (my adult son) told me that he doesn't want to have me in his life any more and that he will be terminating my financial support at the end of this year. So, I guess we are both growing up, learning to be less dependent on each other.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 12:12 pm    Post subject: flying Reply with quote

Last night, I had a flying dream. In my dream, a woman who was in the group I was with, leaped up into the sky, tucked herself into a ball, and zipped around over the treetops while I watched. She stayed up there a long time. I got excited, watching, and thought, "I used to do that, too!" So, I, too, leaped up into the sky, tucked myself into a ball and flew.

Gosh, it's been a long time since I've woken up with the memory of a flying dream on my mind. Apparently, I've transcended my most recent hurdle. My guidance says that tomorrow I will be ready to dry fast again.

Since I last wrote, I've stopped consuming yogurt and kefir, replacing them with acidophilus capsules. I purchased mason jars, air lock lids and "pickle stones" and have been experimenting with making my own fermented vegetables.

I bought a Breville juicer and have started making fresh cabbage, tomato and pear juice.

Starting to make juice was surprisingly difficult for me, emotionally. My mother was born in 1932, during the Great Depression. Her mother didn't always have food to eat during her pregnancy. My mother was born with a deeply entrenched poverty consciousness. My mother pays a great deal of attention to prices and saving money. Living in my mother's house and having my very own shiny, new juicer presented me with emotional difficulties stemming from my mother's unspoken but energetically felt judgements.

I felt tired when my juicer arrived. Too tired to make juice. I put it off for a couple of days. When I thought about it, I felt guilty for having such a nice juicer. I had to give myself a push to start using it.

I don't know how long I will dry fast this time. I guess I'll just see how it goes.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:05 pm    Post subject: a new plan Reply with quote

My guidance says I should dry fast for three days--Friday, Saturday and Sunday--and then have food and water or juice on Monday, and then dry fast again for two days--Tuesday and Wednesday--and then have food and water or juice on Thursday, and then repeat this same pattern for two additional weeks, for a total of three weeks.

Today is Friday, so I'm dry fasting. This is a new instruction for me. I've never tried this sort of rapid alternating back and forth between dry fasting and eating and then dry fasting again. I'm wondering if I'll be able to do it. I feel dubious.

I'm curious to see how it will go. Will my bowels move easily? Will I feel well? Will I feel hungry? Will I have energy to shop and prepare food?

I feel puzzled. I feel like I'm in the middle of changes that I don't understand at all.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I finished my 3-day dry fast, had food and water yesterday and am back to dry fasting again this morning.

By the evening of the 3rd day of my fast, I had a headache/sinus pain, a sore throat, and a sour taste in my saliva. I was not hungry or thirsty but felt impatient to end the fast because of discomfort. I waited it out and began feeling better soon after having some water and apples in the morning.

I had more discomfort with this short dry fast than I did with the previous longer dry fast. I think this is because the acidophilus I have been taking triggered a more aggressive cleanse.

Immediately after eating apples, I had a bowel movement and as I continued to eat throughout the day I had additional bowel movements. I'm always glad when my bowels move following a fast.

I ate apples and raw cabbage. After eating, the lymph nodes under my jaw swelled up. This has happened to me before, in years past, when breaking a fast.

Last night, before resuming my fast, I took two acidophilus capsules and some Vitamin C.

This morning, my lymph nodes are still swollen and my throat is slightly sore, but otherwise, I feel fine.
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:10 am    Post subject: feeling optimistic Reply with quote

Today is Thursday, my day for eating. I broke my dry fast this morning with water, raw cabbage and supplements. I do not often take supplements these days, but when I do, I am usually advised to take high doses. This morning, I took the following:

Vitamin C--3 spoons, 750 mg
milk thistle--20 capsules, 3,500 mg
magnesium--10 tablets, 2,500 mg
garlic--10 capsules, 10,000 mg
green super food--3 spoons

I felt much better during these past two days of dry fasting than I did earlier this week. The lymph nodes under my jaw have remained swollen and my voice has been slightly hoarse, but I did not have a headache or sinus pain during this 2-day fast and my energy was okay for resting and reading and taking walks. My breathing is clear and I don't have a cough. My nose is slightly runny, though.

Today, I am planning to have some of my homemade sauerkraut and some apples, along with more raw cabbage. I feel happy to think of gobbling up some sauerkraut. It is the sea salt in the recipe that I have an appetite for. It has been fermenting for just one week, and I am new to making fermented vegetables, so I'll see how it tastes...
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Genie



Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:53 am    Post subject: signing off Reply with quote

Something I've been thinking about today is the way I have a habit of indulging in imaginary monologues in my mind, as if I had an attentive listener, eager to hear my every word. I've decided I don't want to cultivate this habit any longer. It's not realistic or healthy. I prefer to be present in my actual life and to have real rather than imaginary communication.

Writing these posts is a little bit different from having an imaginary monologue, but not much.

I've decided that writing these posts isn't beneficial for me at this time for two reasons. One reason is that it is too similar to the habit I am now intending to break. The other reason is because I am very sensitive to other people's thoughts and feelings, even if I have no observable contact with them. When I write these posts, I am opening myself up, in a needy sort of way, to other people's energy. And my assessment is that this is not good for me. It's better if I center myself and stand alone.

Maybe at a later date, it will be good to share something of my experience, if someone is interested, but right now I am in transition and very sensitive to energies and I want to be protective towards myself.
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