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Prana in Paris
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 7:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

error

Last edited by Hikari on Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 8:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

error

Last edited by Hikari on Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

error

Last edited by Hikari on Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is something that makes me upset:
It is people that need to tell me that my music is gloomy and creepy.
I don't know if they realise that nowhere I claim to be talented?
I am just training myself, and when we train it is important to try over and over and over again.
If we never train, we never progress.
So if those people tell me this because they hope I am gonna stop, well too bad for them, because I am never going to stop! so if they don?t like what I do they should just not listening to it !! (the world is a huge place, so they probably gonna find an artist they enjoy somewhere)..
And if all the artists would listen to the people that tell them they should stop producing because they do gloomy stuff, well ..the world would be a very sad place because there won't be any beautiful piece of art anywhere....So to the people that would like me to stop expressing myself:
Are you not able to realise that even the most talented artists had to train a lot before they managed to do something really good?


Last edited by Hikari on Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well I failed totally again ...
I started eating everyday again
all the worse stuff
like hummous, eggplant with sesame seed spread, bread
( I just ate a full bag of 360gr of wholewheat rolls from M&S!!! with one avocado and than raw dark chocolate with coconut and xylitol)

I know this is really unhealthy.
I became sick several times this week because I think I often ate really too much ...I remember I felt horrible a few days ago after I ate a full box of eggplant spread I bought from the supermarket (with additive and pretty bad stuff in it ) with a full bag of corn cakes of about 25 cakes!!! around 135 gr)


I told about this to a friend and she told me she thinks I am hurting my body to do this (eating a lot than fasting several days)

Well I started thinking about that.
I do not want to believe I hurt myself, I think it is a depressing thought that is not going to help me move forward.
What is helping me to move forward and that I like better to believe is that I needed to experiment the horrible feeling it is to eat too much of one or several things so that I understand that food is not healthy (I think that if I become sick after eating a certain amount of it, it means it is not healthy no matter the quantities)

I feel mAny people would get upset or think I am dumb or deluded and would tell that the truth is not what feels comfortable for me to believe but is something universal that works the same for everyone.
But regarding my own body: I think that my own body (as my own feelings and my own thoughts) belongs to me alone so I am the only one who has the power to decide how my body works, what is harmful and what is good for it.
So I do not feel that overeating than fasting several days is really harmfull but it certainly does make me sick to eat too much ( but eating just a little bit also maybe does not make me sick right away but makes me sad, upset negative and depressive) so for my own good I must do what is right...and hope I will finally do it!!!


I also noticed on several occasions now as I took the time to meditate on it, that this feeling of hunger my body creates sometimes is in fact hidding something else, it seems to be an habit my body took to express negatives emotions like frustration, sadness, anxiety...and when I manage to resist to this feeling of hunger I felt incredible joy and peace a few moments after...(so it was really worth to resist)
Because if I eat, not only I do not feel better, but I can also overeat and then become super sick...)

So I guess my own truth is that I need to reprogram myself with the way that I interpret how my body works that is the most helping me to become stronger, better and happier.
Because if I would just believe doctors or friends or random people , well I would take anti depressant pills, I would cheat on my veganism everytime I would feel a bit down (even vegan friends told me I should eat eggs time to time) , I would still be sick from my auto-immune disease and probably be in a wheel chair by now, I would not be able to do the split, , not be able to play bass super fast and the most complicated pieces (after a really bad hand accident from the left hand that made me loose all sensations and flexibility in one finger and that doctors told me I could never get back)....
I would not have been able to find a training as a sound technician, would not have studied mechanics, would not sew and design my own clothes, would have never been able to earn money from modeling, from translating, would not have been able to learn music softwares and compose my own music and write my own songs...and soooo many other things..because people constantly need to tell me limited things and try to put me in a mold . Or interpret things from their own point of view unable to imagine anything different. (and also having points of views that were teached to them that they never tried to experiment if they are really the truth, they just blindly believe what they read and what seems to be the most common boring thing to believe)

Well I could basicly do nothing if I would listen to people rather than myself so I think I will keep on trusting me alone and interpret things how I think this help me to move forward.


And at the moment I do not manage to resist always because at the moment many things makes me anxious and when I am anxious I forget to listen and pay attention to my body.
Well I guess that is the price to pay to want to live in a big city rather than in the countryside . So maybe that is why maybe it is harder for me to become breatharian, but that does not mean I will never reach my goal.

I started to realise as well that I am very lucky to know one thing that helps me to compensate all this stress: it is dancing!! stretching ! and just taking constantly care of my posture . it really does help to feel energies and to feel less anxious. And I hope I am not gonna over eating again because it felt really horrible. I became so sick , I wanted to vomit than was bloated on top with headache and horrible thoughts again and a uncomfrotable feeling in my blood that I believe is the poison that is inside every piece of food that I eat.


I also know that this path I am on, is something that I cannot share with anyone in real life as most people are not able to understand this.
And I must keep strong, because the people surrounded me have beliefs that are very different from mine and I absolutly do not want to get influenced by them. I do not want to share anything and have anything in common with what I witness people do and believe on this planet .
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Candid



Joined: 15 Jul 2018
Posts: 62

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 11:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hikari, you didn't incarnate on this planet to shun other people. You came here because you have wisdom to share with others.

There is no need to starve yourself, or to eat food that hurts you.

Everything in your life right now is telling you you're going the wrong way.

I know you can do better.
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't worry! I am doing very fine now!
Today is full moon and it always have a deep impact on me.
I believe I can feel full and new moon highest pick inside my body and this morning I felt it around 9h-11 am
And I also have my periods..my periods are often in phase with the moon cycle
So it is a time right now of letting go wrong habits...
I think and realized that often before full moon (by the end of the cycle, the 2 last weeks) I start doing things that I hate to do (like overeating this month, last month I think I was very depressed..well each month I do something very unhealthy just before fullmoon) .
Every month since my awakening (that I believe happened first in June 2017 and was confirmed in November 2017 when I was visited by ETs) I have to let go and liberate me from something.
And if I manage to liberate me at full moon during the highest pick I know I will never come back doing that thing .
I must just be aware that this is the thing that full moon is going to help me to let go.

Now I think I understood really deep into my core that I must not overeat no more and I also understood that I do not need to eat much and that at the moment it is ok if I still eat everyday but I must not eat on mornings no more and take that habit and must not eat more than 2 fruits a day ..at the moment I still eat dry fruits and I started eating oat again because my body is telling me that oat is the thing that will help me to get rid of wheat and corn addiction completly. But I think I will not overeat no more but still eat everyday but no more than 2 times a day and really small quantities (like a fruit and some dry fruits or a fruit and some oat ) and I will see next full moon if it is gonna be the time to reduce to once a day .

I had pretty good news today now so I think I am also in a creative process, I am creating my future right now and that is the reason why I am in phase with the moon and I bleed at full moon.

Anyway, I hope one day I will become breatharian completly...but it is hard as I am surrounded by people doing very unhealthy things and talking about subjects that I find really depressing at the moment so it is already very hard to not feel down by it and I already feel very awkward because it does not seem to me that there is anybody else that could understand and believe to what I experience in my life. Even though I evolve in the musical , artistic world...I feel most people really lack deeply imagination and only believe stuff that were brainwashed to them. Even if they are into celtic music and elves ..they do not seem to believe it for real.
The difference with me is that I believe magic and fantasy to be the real truth.

And I know that this fullmoon is the last one of liberation until next winter.
Because last year I remember during summer until the winter equinoxe I went through a deep transformation and at each full moon I became aware of new powers. I became able to do the split, to sing very high, to play super fast..I remember the day I discovered that I could sing very high was after full moon in August and 2 days after I was with a friend and we witnessed many UFOS in the sky...so summer is an intense time and I can't wait to discover what I gonna become aware of this year. But I already got very good news today..so I feel like I already know my future...because I am creating it right now.
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think the date of Fall 2021 that I said previously is still the limit.
Because I also got confirmation during this full month by synchronicity many times again that this date is a date of great change.
So I believe that is the time when I will finally be breatharian
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I must first get rid of my wheat pop corn and chocolate addiction before trying to fast for too long.
Once I'll get rid of that, there won't be much that I would still eat.
And with oat I manage to limit me to small quantities, so it does not seem to be as addictive as wheat and pop corn because almost everytime I ate wheat and pop corn I overate than got sick.or became obsessed by it if I stoped eating it before it made me sick.
But now I trust myself that I will overcome it because I suddenly understood that it is really not doing anything good to me ( I can't focus, it gives me pains in my body, it is hard to diggest and it is addictive) and it is nothing more than poison.

With chocolate it is a bit harder, but I do not eat chocolate everyday no more, I think this is the thing I gonna keep until the very last as a reward, but eat it less and less often (at the moment I eat chocolate 2-3 times a week, sometimes I manage to eat it only once a week) and I used to eat a lot everyday. I would like to eat only a small bar of 30gr once a week.
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