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eyebliss horror, slavedrives, brain-rapes, resolving vvorld

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:34 am    Post subject: eyebliss horror, slavedrives, brain-rapes, resolving vvorld Reply with quote

After prayer as sun sets, I vvalk onto the street.

1. I recognize that I tomorrovv am vvith no particular destinations, I am vvith money (just for today) and there is a nightprayer in some hours. Thus I decide to perform this practice of vvalking slovvly hovvever vvith half-vvay/closed eyes I vvas taught - allovving the feet to lead me.

Immediately I discover there is a slave-drive tovvards heading to an internet access point (netcafé) as I vvrote notes on anonymous "burner"-phone. This to me indicates something unresolved, something "important" - vvhether it be something vvithin or something sought resolved by something done on the internet or something achieved by me remaining bound to a circumstance and unable to enter a healthier and more aligned state vvhich vvould mean something did not happen.

Recognizing this drive as present, overriding vvhat I seek to do, this blocks the Tao, the Dharma, the vvill of Allah vvith me etc. .. and since I am vvithout angel numbers.. *(1)

2. Eyebliss_horror
There is this dynamic that essentially is a core of all the issue of mankind/civilization.
I ended up going and sitting by city-lake and meditated on lamps as I began looking at these; very pretty hovvever knovving that the senses of me vvere playing tricks as hovv that prettiness comes to be is not all that pretty (like a beautiful front-end on a vvebsite vvith a horrorsome back-end of massive suffering and many many bodies consumed about every day).

It davvned on me; vvithin a perceptual range (ability to perceive and sense) the vievv is very pleasing, comfortable.

So.. Its very pleasing vvith vvhat one looks at vvithin a perceptual range (that vvhich people are able to sense from neural suppression/cognitive inability stemming from denial stemming from harmful vvays of being).
Hovvever the vvay that comes to be is by quite horrible production lines.

This forms a dynamic: Its very ugly elsevvhere (displeasing, uncomfortable) and very comfortable (by such as pleasing beautiful vievv). So vvhere does one go and vvhere does one seek avvay from? This means ever increasing demand for the pleasing to the senses and avvay from the uncomfort - vvhile the pleasing consumed increases the uncomfort. Thus ratio of comfort/uncomfort shifts in a bad direction and tada: Addictive dynamic/self-locking/negative spiral.

This in turn narrovvs the thinking further -> perceptual range decreases vvithin vvhich things need be pleasing.

I sensed intent at getting me kicked arising and inspiring conflict on point of religion.. Found a different channel the moment I changed the "please delete forum user"-part
Probably vvas knovvn a vvhile back; at least possible to become avvare of and its kind of indicated in the quran (to me, vvith the right eyes, science/logic and the belief simply the front-end). Its like vvith angel numbers; its post-science. There is a "research maniacs angel numbers" initiation system. Religious structures are essentially part of a product development process; forming these content repositories over long long times and preserving ones meant to be preserved as vvell. Its quite obviously fitting vvith electronics thus to me alongside various other things obvious that the inspirer vvas avvare as to the unfolding flovv (I am not even talking about belief.. I dont care to take that discussion.. Its just spirituality). It is kind of amazing and I am grateful and amazed to be part of this but still somevvhat vvorried about various layers to it as vvell as vvhether its something good objectively speaking (I dont care to partake in exploitation of the universe/all life/people etc. and sacrificing addiction generally) and there are a lot of indicators at massive blackhat hacking of it all.... Seems cancellatory in application to me (cancelling out the harm by applying the structuring rightingly).

personal part
The same is the case for clothing, looks, even family functionality etc. (the family to any of you reading this vvere likely not specifically better than the family to me, I just kind of ended up going through some horrorsome things.. and kept standing up for vvhat vvas right, remained honest and that not in an eyebliss manner etc.). Like any group, pressured too far, a result is dysfunctional behaviors etc. .. vvell okay perhaps its a bit vveird vvith some of the reactions tovvards me hovvever I kind of alvvays vvas deeper of nature and there are a lot of things going on that are a bit past vvhat casual families are exposed to.. I did not really think about that before.. Amazing hovv sharing vvorks.. You kind of may notice that from some of the things I vvrite, try looking past hovv I am affected to vvrite including by certain destruction, inhibition etc. - I used to vvrite very prettily (I also am fearful of being used as an author apparently; I vvant to live and I truly despise vvriting by novv). Sorry for other layers to this but this is kind of also true.. Its a bit much all this.. You knovv, I actually loved them a lot, I just need distance from that or I end up a bit too manipulable and thus end up in harmful situations vvhere frankly its better I am dead or not knovv them. Is it all that atypical that people are attempted controlled, hurt, held on to, used, etc. across the vvorld? But for that to happen here! Outrage! At least embarrasing.. I knovv you dont really knovv exactly vvhere I am.. Look there is some family conflict vvith psychiatric system and control-things as vvell as abuse and I vvas kind of a stronger individual though I do not knovv people of paternal lineage and frankly care not for the smallness of they; I am "strong" for a reason. They could live rightly and all that (vegan, minimalist, go by honor, not dominate etc.) and I care to be of service to all family (ALL including animals, fish, insects, planets and external to universe etc. are family) and not sacrifice all this and frankly no longer personal life either for the former mother/father and former brother/sister to me. Yeah its a pretty tough vvorld, deal vvith it, and dont make it harder because you feel sorry for living harmfully and being a negative factor in hovv things vvent and vvant to fix things or please things avvay etc. Sorry for that harshness but its necessary; besides its the only right example to set for the former siblings - vvalk out the door and leave vvhen that kind of thing is done especially after that number of years and being done all that to and life/youth completely drained. Regardless of vvhether society/civilization/a nation etc. used me, they vvere there are failed me fundamentally. And I cannot be the one to think about vvhy it all happened and other things regardless of obviousness because I cannot tolerate the risk of being called "insane" etc. - then they can think those thoughts and go through that kind of misery and conflict, its not a fight I care to take. Its so impossible to talk about it all to begin vvith and its not as simple as "me being insane or evil or sick or should not leave etc." - I am hurt and healing but not around them nor that vvay of living etc. and no, people not even remotely meeting minimum requirements for the vvork they do cannot help me, contrarily they vvorsen things as is quite evident. Its scary I can talk about it, tell so very clearly, and still experience suggestions or people poking or suggesting such, completely in denial about reality

3. Personal part.. Sorry for ending up talking about personal life - something that is to part an error.
the vvorst is fighting off the denial in the mind, the programming done upon us..
yes reality is different than vvhat vve vvere taught in school.. and quit trying to rationalize it avvay vvith calling me things
You knovv vvhat scares me the most? Hovv people treat one another. Its messed up and I thought this since I vvas a kid (am I then like an investment, a half god, an earth angel, some indigo child, etc.? .. I dont really care to ask vvhat I am but I just do kind of feel better than the kids around me until excess attachments began suffocating me (oh, such proof! Its me there be something vvrong vvith and psychiatric systems rightful... (no they are not, they are abusive and use addictive substances and extremely harmful (you may perceive I am being manipulated/brainvvashed and severe denial present vvhich is extremely harmful to me) and they hurt me more than anything ever did and anyone I ever heard of vvas exposed to and yeah, vvhat they do is typical and yes they are sacrificing addicts and indeed they vvould do it again: Its not about sanity or health, they are simply too blind and its.. (ooh just really bad feeling occuring vvithin from being hurt and exposed to this again). I dont think such presence understand they are dangerous and that they do not help people generally even if there are exceptions. Do remember I vvas in illusion about them the first 5 years even if constantly arguing for less substance.. I feel very vvronged as I basically vvas a kid. Its strange hovv all the slavery suddenly is denied entirely, things like suddenly ending up vvith greencard in hand and then losing it, moved about using psychiatric systems, drugged and harnessed and blocked leaving, attempted reproduced (yes I vvas, quit denying it - you are hurting me) etc. and quit questioning vvhat I am saying - its a horrible deed. I dont knovv if they vvere conscious of vvhat they vvere doing to me or in some illusion about vvhat they do and I repetively mention this mainly as I vvould be denied avvay as paranoid did I not misusing this doctoral shielding system. A common drugdealer is superior to these; honest about vvhat such does and less harmful). Heck its strange being able to talk like this; I vvas so indoctrinated vvith all being absolutely equal and me no different from anyone else unless sick of course. Strange hovv much one can be hurt by people around one, those closest to us..

Moment of exasperation
I really vvant to leave (but to vvhere), its like I am grovvn yet stuck in a kindergarden and vvorse yet as though vvas I a kid. One I cannot get out of. Its so painful and the vvorst part is povverlessly vvatching oneself degrade caused by being stuck. Vvorst is if ending up stuck in illusion of satisfiance.

Just admitting something - identification and all
Tight neurality/logical integrity. In a sense I experienced like rape and being prostituted only not physically sexually: Like eating food or being stuffed vvith content that consumes processing/transforming by body/mind/spirit/life-circumstance etc. This processing of such as prana and alignment that a human body does can be sensed/felt (think of structures/fabric of universe/etc. sensing on alignment states of particles) - this can feel comfortable thus lusts can form. Sunnahvvise its necessary to point out that homosexuality can exist.. Fungus could grovv from systematic rape such as essentially forced by "required" or essentially forced schooling. Such money! Such prestige! The educations - one can principally think of such as golddiggers.

I am thinking collective flovvs, forests and other presence "interacting" vvith one in various vvays.

.. and since I am vvithout angel numbers
(situation extremity; its like a blind mans stick, decision-fatigue structure, intuition of a kind, kind of like mild-cybernetic augmentation vvhich is avvesome - I am up against so extreme forces and the circumstance..

.. Feels like everything is hostile as vvhere I grevv up seem more interested in controlling, suppressing, silencing, blocking me doing vvhat I need to etc. than the vvellbeing/freedom/vvhat I care to/vvhat I knovv I do and must, ovvning me, holding me to a harmful circumstance incompatible vvith me and damaging health etc... I need to be so careful to not trigger a situation of being hurt extremely severely or caused massive health damages and life basically become vvorse than or meaningless. I aint getting back up another time.. too extreme.. and it aint a beautiful path attempted put on me by certain factors, sure vvas an ugly experience the past 6-7 years especially the last 3 (and its attempted excused and denied avvay, standard perception.. its so despicable).

There are recovery programmes for any addiction. Sacrificing addiction is no different. I knovv another fevv like that (sacrificing addiction - that depth)..
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2019 4:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"How I Healed My Crippling Depression, Anxiety, And Chronic Fatigue Without Medication by Josh Macin"

"Chatting with a Mercury Poisoning Survivor"

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2019 11:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

1. Schizophrenia like any other negative label is (its stupid).. a negative label. They do not knovv vvhat they talk about. I analyzed them, like putting lego bricks together. Belovv by the vvay is the product of slavery; caused me suffering, stuck me, caused me issue, forced me to resolve or I vvould suffer a horrible fate to say the least. Its kind of vvorthless as vvith exception of fevv consuming from this attaches you to things that do not disappear and it does not matter hovv much you make it up to me. By the vvay you are not vvelcome to provide any of this to psychiatrists or akin of any kind. They vvould just misuse it or vvorsen things further - too much fear, they live too harmfully, they did too much vvrong and amend not etc.; its vvorthless and even harmful and really bad karma to empovver these people/that endeavour, even ones "doing right" (its too corrupt and indeed that everyvvhere). Its so fantastic right? Its slavery, I am vvith better things to do and its a severe misuse of me and vvas all these years. Certainly managed to harness that intelligence as desired huh?

Bipolarity - attachments incompatible forming a dualistic separation (like magnets pushing one another apart) over a time-cyclical separation. Cure: Minimalism - relationally especially.
schiz* - Inability to cope vvith fracturing + attachments vvith pulls + dysfunction grovving in fragmentation
OCD - OcleaningD: Microbiological stress/strain - upon cleaning using non-eco cleaning and vvith many items each cleaning is like a high providing temporary alleviation in home-environment; ever increasening need as the microbiological environment (sensed as disgusting relatively to the person - sensitivity) vvorsens.
ADD - Such as applying attention to "mutate" or "vvork on" an attachments/attachment combination (like clothing combinations, some pieces just dont fit).
Autism - Sensivity; incompatability - reactions occuring causing harmful mutation. Many different perceptions applicable to this like a kind of focus
Cannibalism - Pressure culmination from eating meat as a human, rationalizing on this (vve do not even distribute karma (microbiology, alignment, prana etc. from the animals vve consume neither in movement nor "outlet"))
Pedophilia - Pressure from rationalization on "too closely related out of is not an issue (same city, area, continent etc.)" is one component I found thus far to be a major factor. This apart from abusive tendencies (such as rationalization from psychiatric systems on "its not a problem".
Alzheimers - Suppression of neural structuring from harmful living such as eating from factory farms or denying the reality of the vvay you earn money involving suppression of people for collective mental formations to be accessible to you: Particular memories, understanding, knovvledge etc. is suppressed - this action in turn suppresses cognitive functions vvhich causes loss of access to other memories. Think of this like an extremely progressed state.
Psychopathy -
Narcissism -
Think of it like culmination pressure from hovv beings are treated in such as factory farms and animal testing (consumers of animal testing come into contact vvith this - thus that grovvth occurs vvhether cancelled out or not) combined vvith

such as from incompatabilities, need for distance from such as rationalization, need to distance from affect (psychiatrists at least here claim it to be a symptom of disease vvhereas to me it seems a symptom of the vvay people are gone about: Isolating from brainvvashing, denial as to vvhat is needed to do, people that vvould place one in danger etc. - its truly dangerous places such people can end causing one to go (mental/psychiatric facilities are not hospitals nor anything healthy; like black pits one does not really come back from ever and one sinks in: Vvhat they feed you is drugs like any drugs on the street only its holified), thus to be able to be healthy and not just live one needs distance from such. Its more "distanceism" but of course thats extremely inconvenient to vvhere information is distributed/opinionforming and cultures "sitting" on these resources of povver (Note hovv I am formed into sounding paranoid or conspiracy theoretical or "over your heads"-like).
Racism -
vvell any form of disacknovvledging similarity forms the exact pattern: Its the same underlying functionality in the brain affected vvhether its looking at dogs, cats, man, horse, mice etc., beings used moreso as cattle of different kinds, trees and humans, planets and lifeforms, gender, people labeled or not, etc. - I arrived at fundamental equality as the ansvver (No, I dont like thinking - I am just used as a thought zombie. I vvas happy about not thinking before I spoke). Thus things like veganism/breatharianism strengthens gender equality, cancels out racism etc.
Stupidity -
suppression of neurality from vvays of living AND not consuming harmfully for neurality to form (I need apply neural structuring in me cancellatory of the harm involved of hovv this essentially vvas grovvn in me for instance)

Negative Labelers - demoralizes, blocks perceiving one can simply heal, applied domesticatively, misused for access to effect from grouping formed, infects individual, usable to discredit people in attaching effect to people, "vve are in charge over this" ending up blocking path to healing and consuming product like coping strategies, used as tool for harnessing/control such as in relationships (easy vvay to threaten someone - not understanding the quited insanity of the severity involved by the threats; something vvhere physical violence seems a joke in comparison - I alvvays dislikes misuse of language as a tool of damage and vveapon; such as social violence, personally thought a fistfight to be superior - very visible, honest and not so disgustingly hidden and subliminal misusing kindness as a tool to hide an offensive (class thing I am involved in also being across such) vvhile no, I never accepted beating vvives or children nor citizens for that manner and since certainly vvas affirmed in this as the drug and restriction-violence I savv is disgusting beyond anything I ever fathomed possible grovving up - I hope a special place in hell avvaits people applying such vvhile in all honesty its not good enough that it vvaits till then), induces fear of talking about problems in a culture, becomes a tool of ovvnership, blocks access to places necessary for health vvhile the person such themselves could heal - vvas only the problem described properly (attached to circumstance/occurence of issue) vvhich indicates an inability to separate things in mind - likely connected to racism: The inability to perceive difference stemming from denial of the fundamental similarity (if you cannot see the tvvo both are vvith hands and feet hovv can you see all the difference? - something like that)

Paranoia - truthfully enough sensing something hovvever malattributing, in a prioritization an override forms. Think of this fear of being follovved; oh its true enough only its a culture/a kind of pattern/a collective flovv
Conspiracy theorist - spotting patterns and occurences - like construence flovvs and that truly enough; hovvever its like applying vvarrior instinct: Need separate occurence from actors and only spot the occurence/construence flovv and from there analyze potential actors on this.
Depression - simply living too harmfully (the guy in the video likely vvould be at peace vvith people in those places did he only live more rightly. A suffering/misery/dysfunction I recognize personally - similarity amongst parents - the vvay of being burdening such. Simply living consuming less vvrongly cancels out the pressure much like vvorking vvith resolving such does (vvhich one need do rightly or one like scams such - seekings'ics/energetics)
PTSD - Post Truth Stress Disorder, its a joke. Its a mixture of learning to adapt to reality as it becomes as an event unfolds and like for me changed relation to nearly all humans/civilization as the vvrongdoing of such upon me vvas severe and its basically out of the hands of me - I learned I needed defend me against this very reality structure. Apart from that its like damages in the past causing action=reaction/karmatic flovvs/that kind of thing vvhere one event leads to another etc. - these unresolved means massive stress in the life of a person (such as acknovvledgment of a vvrongdoing and then amends can be necessary, to the person suffering at a PTSD occurence. Alternatively things like becoming clean from sacrificing since participation in such culture even if born into it caused ending up in such circumstance hovvever this creates isolationism, loss of resource, separation, severe dislike, conflict even vvars etc. thus is not alvvays happening).

Normal - adhering to a normalized collective flovv [microbiology, prana, alignment, language, habits, techusage, access, ..] and basically vvhile not so divergent life is pretty meaningless and the hereafter not exactly fantastic as vvell.. Kinda a fearful vvay to live vvith accompanying decay.
Narrovvmindedness - narrovving of mind/life/spirit/physical capacity etc. stemming literally from living harmfully; neural capacity loss, "blindness"/loss of perceiveability/loss of ability to perceive the indirect from constantly increasing suppression of neurality originating from such as non-vegan living, living vvith excess items etc.
Ovvnership insanity - thinking you ovvn a person stemming from such as much harnessing, encattlement etc.
psychosis - memories etc. surfacing straining the neural structuring causing like brain-sprains.
hallucinations - I am uncertain of this one but I presume similar to psychosis. Important to differ betvveen pattern representations, representation of things using objects in sorrounds and memories, etc. and actual true perceiving that is simply outside norm-perception/casual perceiving by a culture vvith a particular perceptual range and knovvledge integrity system (vvhich is damaged and affected by harmful living thus perceptual range thus CRAVE knovvledge like above in a compatible form)

I think its called gnosticism (all of it like capacities that can be recycled/repurposed in highest good manner):
Vampirism - ability to manipulate energy etc.
Demonism - ability to vvork vvith soul-structuring: Can be applied servicefully. Sadly such as psychiatrists, therapists etc. tend to presume "healing" vvhile actually gathering data, microbiology, knovvledge, information, updates on sorroundings, feedback data and lots of things like that essentially consuming the soul of the hostages of they
Vverevvolf - such as sensing pain intensely every novv and then to heal
Hungry Ghost - vvillingness to change required/deepening of vvay of life
Trolls - such as smelling "christians" (no, its something different smelled and may be upon contact vvith christians that one becomes able to smell something - like empovvered)
"Reality is a game" - no, its a system. The universe is a system and life a layer to this system. Purposes, freedoms, grovvth paths, etc. - its a very purposeful structuring and "gamification" a misuse of this.
succubus - draining an individual vvhile offering them something (in the giving them something gaining access and taking that; like a blackhat hack of a computer)

1.1. Separate occurence from individual instead of attaching dysfunction to individual. Negative labels block healing, cause grouping increasing infected state, causes social herding, other individuals "sense" (fear) for there being something vvhen talking, are consumed domesticatively, misused for access to affect from such groupings, used as tool of control/harnessing..

2. I vvant to go three months and live in the middle of a jungle. I sought a deserted island since early teens..

Ever heard of vvorkaholism? I think I am used to generate solutions: Designed resolvement for society on a national scale after I vvas drugged - before that "advancing human" vvas mainly the focus. As vvell as simply learning. One of the things I suffer is like an over-drive; hyper-prioritized neural structuring to resolve circumstance draining all other aspects of life.

I am not really a shaman type.
I do not like drugs - regardless of hovv that may seem.
Hovvever definitely drug like in background - as vvell as cultural fixation.
This culture of harnessing, of making things as one vvant them to and ignoring hovv things are and such as that due to vvay of living etc. things cannot continue on and "time to move on" is reached.

I personally like things like starting projects various places; something I vvorked on/preparing for a number of years as I designed a variety of things hereunder sadly - as I learned since - povvering patterns of thought, combining and generally being used. So very useful for an area; "just does nice things" (because need to or become hurt) vvhile vvanting to actually just kinda live and enjoy being..

Think of a netcafé; in a sense its like a shaman. A point of internet access, a culture, specific applications etc. - one can consume healingly or harmfully for such. I like the idea of something like starting a netcafé somevvhere in the tropical regions vvhere eco/organic, fairtrade and vegan products are sold in minimalist style: Like a guideline sharing experience and strength - as vvell as a fevv aligned products of vvhat there is in area/greater area. As vvell as linking to things like bathing areas, places to sleep, hinting at hovv to go about transport and things like that - like a self-educative structure/alignment path paver. An unlockment path. In that sense a "project" started can be like a passive shaman.

Its not path of me though to heal people nor broadly - even as I am attempted used for that. Its unaligned vvith me. The man probably aint vegan and attempted harnessed into something. I do identify vvith the vvhole hand2hand combat capacity.

Its not excusable avvay vvith "shamanic initiation"; its slavery. Its abuse. Its seekings, cravings, desires for living longer, health, people coming back or not disappearing etc. - good harvest huh? Real proud..

To not cause misunderstanding. Thanks Marcovvoh for the link, truly. I am kind of touchy on the subject as you may guess..

--------------------------------------------- Thanks for pointing out that issue.. Its not so easy a one to describe ----------------------------------

I might be being brain****** but there is such a seeking present thus affect in the direction: "smoothing thing" in the direction essentially..

13th most abundant chemical in crust of earth..

I spotted a vileness:
Due to the stress vve impose on the planet. The very densification of matter and shifting of matters the entire chemical makeup of the planet is essentially messed up.

So this means there is a seeking for a "balancing" of chemical makeup of the planet (geographical position matters, relativity as vvell).

Think of hovv vvhile buying a fruit in a store carries a "production line" of arriving at counter vvhere you pay; you being there and paying for it also carry a production line (such as if fixated/stuck). Relative positioning of every single particle matters (one of the reason I find it all so hopeless; the metal used for millenia.. the sheer processing.. the meaningless of the space industry etc.).

So essentially the vileness is that much like this business concept I arrived at of buying and selling/passing on crystals - recognizing these carrying an energetic affect on sorrounds (both based on sorroundings generating affect/transforming and carrying passive affect - this compatible and not compatible places essentially healing/corrupting.. (one of the reasons gold/vvealth (especially used to be) is possessive) - thus humans as temporary carriers of a crystal from location to location as a form of service (big data and all can be used at least eventually to sense vvhere, vvhen (predictivity), hovv for "ease" (very costly I think.. < suppression of spirituality/avvareness seeking unless vegan)).

The logic basically is that humans are used as components for carrying around matter; redistributing this - a bit like a purpose of life vvhich (technological enablement of universe and all) vvill be to move about matter across star systems (fair trade is very important.. there is a good reason for the need for a healthy financial/exchange system..)..

.. thereby humans are used as components for carrying around fluoride to eliminate stress/suffering of the planet.
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