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Prana in Paris
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 77

PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2019 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Candid wrote:
Dear one,

The trouble with "looking sick and old on the outside" is that it invariably means feeling sick and old, too. We need to feel good.

I hope you'll feel better soon.

Wel I feel sick and old on the inside since a long time but I do not look sick and old on the outside, my outside does not represent my inside.
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Candid



Joined: 15 Jul 2018
Posts: 119
Location: Reading, UK

PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2019 7:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feeling good is still a great aim, Hikari.

I must say I'm mystified by most of hysterical_bored_snail's posts Confused but he's helping a very small crew keep the forum active.
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PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2019 8:22 pm    Post subject: Food hell joy: "yay! Sundown! I can eat!" Reply with quote

How is all of below connected with breatharianism: prana, flows, drains, gains - non-need.

ESH
Ramadan currently - good time to fast to sundown.

Paranoia accussations were domesticative in nature (you are wrong/sick/evil pressure blackhat hacking mindset and blocking wariness of kinds).
A person cannot be "bipolar" however a bipolar dynamical occurence can be present and a person structured in direction of this - its bipolarization of attachments/interconnectivity however "doctors" meet not minimum requirements for this wording as such worsen it and block people healing. Incompatabilities of two social relations create polarization - excess items, relations, knowledge structures, habits, languages.. = overall polarization occuring - cyclical presence form.

What you mention of addictions seem rely on harmful consumption outside a "range" generating negative/hateful intentions - nearing forcing/no-free-will structures relying on this; I ended up in hands of such which harmed me in ways I doubt you can grasp.

Microbiology, prana, alignment, language, social patterns etc. are transformed by environment one is in: Major cities, sububrbs and countryside differs; structuring flows etc. require different things.

Minimalism; I carry all I "admin" with me in a bag.

Everyone are family; sister is not okay to be with nor cousin or 2nd cousin.. ->
7.000.000.000 humanoids. Lets say 50.000.000th cousin out exist.
Then being with 300.000th cousin out is too close and is part of pressure culmination "its not a problem.." = part of sum -> incest victims - its a layer to it; like being vegan. "Out of that comfortzone" kinda means live fearlessly to point of being able to go outside range - live rightly thus not needing safety of in-group. Live aligned - able to reach sustainable partnering outside range without risk of lapse upon opening up in such as area where grew up.

I dryfast every sunday - its neat. Saturday evening to monday 12pm.

Purpose of life: Every material structure carry passive affect.
Distributing/redistributing matterstructures across planets/moons/solar systems for healing affect of entire energystructure is one such. Think space age and like aligning the health of galaxy - like greater house like planetary environment. A planet from negative affect entering harmful orbit cycling with chainreaction is not good. Forming matterstructures not to create effect but passive effect; including from productionlines hereunder self-alignment.



COMMENT
Sounds fun to volunteer; I cannot tolerate the environment/workplaces - would end up horrible places..

I really really appreciated that song. Thanks for sharing. Much liking of the style and I like that you walk an aligned path (productionline) including self-aligned.


I relate so much you barely would fathom it.
Thanks for sharing.
I do resultingly become attracted however simply also am interested in talking.
I meet not really others akin and will not fail to "non-fulfilling satisfying contact blocking reaching real contact - suffered too much of that).




ON POINT OF ASEXUALITY try not misinterpreting this despite how impossible that can be..
I would love to talk; however due to the danger sexual and romantic relations involve for me due to the denial, interconnectivity I am kind of driven by seekings in this - for me - sexual anorexia. The situation means I end up distanced from basically all of akin age. Reproduction a major danger however as I chose sterilization even this not enough. I simply enjoy contact to akin of age, especially females and ones I share things in common with - however due to currently impossible healthy sex life (avoided this all life; its a joy I still look ahead to experiencing).

Antinatalism, excessive human population relative to the consumption of such and the unnecessity and to me extreme scare of reproduction while unlocking others is of much greater value and not cost is for me a factor. Asexuality is cool; not for me though - I am just wise and patient enough to steer away from situations of danger leading to weakness/irresilience to these malmstroem like spots of horror.

Sexual anorexic growth however affects me harmfully; locking me from something I long for.
I am very wary of attempts at biotechnological cancelling out of parts of gendersystem creating hell-like states for the person so not in hateful of sex hands however "Angel Numbers' I enjoy alongside genderanonymity (airplanes exist.. need not wings.. excess and like rented bikes better). I identify as a being with a male gender - not as a male. Important for the countless people suppressed with drugs, negatively labeled, brainwashed etc.

For years I also went by and still do: I will not bring another humanoid being into this world nor partake doing so indirectly. Frankly nor can I tolerate the burden and the children overall would become a minus regardless of capacities (that may as well be unlocked in ones already there) and moreso ancestrality actually benefits as greater ancestrality align thus burden where children attempted used as tool for cancels out (catch22 - action before result visible).

I must say: I am not able to emotionally etc. "host" people as personal life including personal physical in person relations are unfulfilled - point with that being I cannot tolerate that.. Need care for me.

Since I am me the sexual anorexic growth affecting me blockingly of sexual life unfolding involving blocking health and events etc. as such would lead to sex occuring is kind of harmful.. Generates negative intentions at ones knowingly or not partaking essentially in the misery of me - a warnful point without me being certain of the extent. Glad I was sterilized - really glad.

I was of reasons personally that I could not/barely talk about.
1. No reproduction - personal burden.
2. Excessive population.
3. Resource applied to greater joy in other ways - and alignment even ancestrally.
4. Not bringing another into this miserable experience (partially sexual anorexia for me).
5. Travel freedom and not being locked to harmful interconnectivity. (danger of seekings for applied capacities using childbirthing as binding agent present with this awareness).
6. Things in order personally.. finance etc..
7. School, environment etc. needed be in order.
8. Too closely related.
9. Kind of listened to 'no sex before marriage"
10. Not risking reproduction at too early age.
11. Usage of rubber - the sapping of trees is kind of vile
12. Not to enter such relations initially when like going vegan and recovering from effects - not ending up bound from going further.
13. Childhood experience (not to blame individual...) of vileness as I was attracted to female
14. As I looked at porn I kind of learned sex to be something vile.. Severely disliked I could not become free from fap.
15. Inner child - sensing at a depth experiences of others (like too closely related even if normal)
16. Alcohol is introduced at age 15 here - breaking integrity thus sex occuring (also compassionate reasoning for this apart from such as sexual processing when like studying - transforming data-structuring).
17. Too closely related access range and danger/near certainty of failure to sec with such resulting in negative intentions and such as tainting.



ANGEL NUMBERS (began before was abused I think for like being homosexual in wrong circle only spiritual, new age as well as speaking out against terror (punishment, norm-diversion control by suppression, hell (do this and that or be punished by God (harmful attribution misusing ethos of God to enslave action/non-action)))).

selectors_src="random number generator app using motion sensor"
content_repository="torah, bible, quran, tao te ching, buddhist sutras,mahabharata, emerald tablets, sacred scribes, research maniacs"
theory: only something extremely aligned would be sustainable to point of selecting - unless a high of sacrificing present.. A medium instead of like a human - relateable visible connection-forming.

its like connected to neural interfacing and cybernetics - vile plans.
Know why rape occur before being vengeful - what cause action to occur? Not okay to terrorize.. How does a choice, an action, a selection form? Dont excuse away part in negative affect upon individuals where culminationpoints occur thus rape. I despise revenge, hatred etc. though I was drawn to fall on the point to some extent (healing though not exactly given good conditions for this despite how such may seem...).


selecting content_repository:
0-9: 9 - research maniacs
0-5555: 3172: researchmaniacs.com/Numerology/Angel-Numbers/Angel-Number-3172.html

The letters: .. a bit personal but here goes:
1. Wem - like the once younger brother to me used to prounounce home
2. L - loses/loves
3. Vif - wife
with a "haha" - a home is losing wife; related to I mentioned this magically occuring situation of a particular meditation initiation 2016 and similed that with a bit akin to rape: Structuring one, blocking other possibilities, incompatabilities arising etc. and I was walking path of me when manipulated by something vile (spiritual)... Not to mention following situation as I quit the meditation and then was drugged, suppressed, severely abused etc. and began meditating. Also kind of a mind rape - they sure like felt me up in there psychologically. "Voluntary" videos and all.. Such a neat research facility connected/part of the place.......

Reading the rest of the content: True - I feel disgusted at ideas of putting will overriding chips in the brains of outcasts using them as tools angelically or for that matter manipulating them to. Especially out of excuses like hatred towards perpetrators and that used as excuse to use such as tools (good to be vegan.. cancelling out using beings as tools thought patterns..).
However the angel number system is awesome - like this website is awesome; to the knowing one that makes sense.
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PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2019 10:00 am    Post subject: We must save things.. its so important.. perhaps he forgets Reply with quote

Much attempted silencing on points - subliminal "button-pushing"..

THIS PART BY SELF-FOCUS OCCURING: WRITTEN AFTER THE REST OF THE POST -
Talk does not work (energy/seekings attempted "saatisfied" using me) and I am not going to be "a voice". I really am with important things to do and less unimportant - was all these years.. fantastic aint it.. Its all so important right? Afterall it will fix it all. Like that next joint, bottle of vodka, needle, pill, movie, meal or whatever. holistic lifestyle - I am not a tool for fulfillment!

Sexual interaction and structuring - continual being
During sexual interaction a structuring, restructuring, unstructuring, etc. forms - I am for instance quite damaged by the lack of this however situationally less so than was I not hurt - this does affect us continually. Achieved wrongfully does indeed form dependency on deeper levels and where can that occur - what comes along with fulfilmlent I can inform you that I am just as dependent whether I did sex or not..
---

angel numbers being a connection; chip in brain would be essentially rape/like forced marriage.

A suffering:
What I experienced spiritually growing up: No spirituality or christianity.


"Know one the touching of the wife of a friend or relative as an outcasting point"
Buddhist sutra inspired point and for logical reason.
Everyone are family whether rationalized on or not.
While fateaddiction is harmful; touching the already now future wife would be an outcasting point unless like in sync with divorce, other marriage etc. - or ones hindered met that would be partnered etc.. Its complex.. Forced marriages etc. also affect like marriages that would be/relationships on like natural levels - subliminal forcing exist very much (where forcing presence is not so visible).
Degrees of failure, degrees of outcasting affect - some can do like fast and choose to go vegan cancelling out/outcasting what caused action (addictive drives, fulfillment seekings etc.).

Hikari:
1. I seek amends with you - forgiveness. I perceived that the artistic drive - channeling - is connected with "the achievable" and amazement of what can be done today while productionlines relevant. I really like the song you made; "hits a spot". The exact kind of music I sought/seek while I also care very much about productionlines (vegan, ecology etc.) and find what I connect with by what I consume from very important.. (no drugs, minimalism etc.) while I really like electronic music etc. (which kind of tends to be a bit vile in productionlines..). The seekings I thus generated already back in 2012 - demand - is part of the energy you channel that seem to be tearing you up.. I kind of did the same with other things; now I go somewhat by what can be achieved of depths of rightful living (seem cancellatory like vegan/fairtrade/ecology/minimalism via internet to align with the infrastructure and upholding - while historically such as classical instruments carry vile productionlines also..).

This takes domesticative form in the unique case of you - however a truth:
2. Culture of recognizing free will to be somewhat of an illusion; innocense - is inherently tied with "but its not a problem to force/override freedom since free will is an illusion" when excess and rationalization on not living minimalistically is the case then one like invite forcing energies (its not that its okay; here the blaming of the individual not doing rightly also becomes a harm) thus not so enjoyable experiences arise. I think of it as failure by it all - not really fault of anyone or anything (not the factory farmed chickens creating harmful seekings) - thus its kind of just about incompatabilities and compatabilities of improving it all so I am glad I do not deny like the existence of the rest of the planet from within a nation denying spirituality. I must currently daily remind me that auras, psychicality, possession, etc. is not insanity/not not real after the many years of brainwashing harming the opmindedness and the situation I am in hereunder whom I was around etc.

Also on the point of soulmates:
2015 or so I analyzed soulmate to like be in/of Japanese origin - you seem like french - so I am not pointing out that you be. It was a logical calculation - incompatabilities and compatabilities: Its simply about depth, rightness/alignment etc. of relationship. Not just any Japanese person with female gender obviously - I was in no idea how to find such and seems recognized that due to situationality I would be unable to meet such anx likelh just end up with someone which then is no longer aligned with the energy of highest good. I know likely soulmate changed to extents due to psychiatric abuse and Japan similarly beinv a society where I presume such are very present - a system I am and will continue to be thoroughly incompatible with and that cannot change no - not since 2016; causing/forcing that to change would make that not change and the likelihood of such entering recovery magically is a bit too low and its like expecting an abusive parent to change; Na?ve. Its also attempted misuse of sex, romance, love etc. Besides such would likely need leave family also. I for instance neither am nor was paranoid though certainly blinded and became kind of na?ve being drugged to that extent back then..

Cannot help it:
I like the idea of a non-sexual relationship. Would be safe enough.
I know I could resist unless truly invited to or ending up like drugged (experience..) - even psychiatric drugs or similar inability to navigate by TRUTH by some other means occuring like burdening and forcing prioritization.
Virgin till rightful occurence and proud of it! Damn I am horny daily though - its very painful but a good kind of pain I am grateful for and truly appreciate < likely perceiving me as pervert effect; I would not write like that... Should not be unsafe circumstantially thus I worry not and damn that subliminal communication mess with neurality.. Damage since literal abuse.
Depending on person and distance.
However would be a "separate or sex" occurence at some point even if a year or so from now.. 21 years of abstainance and 6 of non-caring about women - I can go for a couple more.

Just playing with the idea and you should see how you advertise for you in the writing.
Not acceptable if leading to me returning to Europe once I leave - mutual interest whether awareness is present or not.. highest good thing. Things just changed as I was abused 2016 and greencard lost after - not by Trump nor by me being unwelcome because of being "insane". Its so vile.. so utterly vile a situation.

So I do mean safety necessary; I literally experienced being sunk into madness and yes by the ones that tell you what sanity and insanity is. Just needed to be quiet or I would be hurt even more. I'd just opened up inner childwise as well.. Its not so good - so I learned truth and aint rationalizing that away by calling that trauma or trying to make me be in risky contact with brainwashing psychos - aint ever going back to that. Slavery, apparently I am not human encattlement, abuse, .. - a light of great value much consumed; like a lamp - very bad productionline.. Damages way beyond this life.. Really bad.. like really bad.. So when I say I need be safe I mean it and stop trying remove gender from me! I like that I carry male genitals and will continue to do so whatever vile presence it is that I realize somehow is present/reads as others read..
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PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2019 10:01 am    Post subject: We must save things.. its so important.. perhaps he forgets Reply with quote

errornous multipost

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PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2019 10:02 am    Post subject: We must save things.. its so important.. perhaps he forgets Reply with quote

"General error" - word matches.. some type of error causing imperceiving the post was submitted

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PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2019 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

error
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PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2019 11:12 pm    Post subject: I am not programmable tool Reply with quote

Thanks for sharing.
Like really; I much appreciate listening.
A glimpse into what life is like for you is interesting for me; standing completely outside the norm way of being and not really in much contact with akin of age. Hearing whats possible while I read not books anymore for many good reasons.

TROLLS
"Trolls" is a negative domesticative label. The "marking" is part of what cause trolling to occur. Stating "there is trolling", "I am negatively affected by trolling", "trolling occurence is present and you seem caught up in it - not that I know the specific factors" differs from applying a label that worsen the issue. Understandable in the defensiveness and I kind of perceive an inspired situation; furthermore one can be cancelling out affect by other means. Yet the very tactic even if in defensiveness is below that of a gunshot; partaking in worsening the psychiatric abuse of countless - its a pretty bad energy to attract and definitely drains prana - increasingly connecting you to psychiatricism draining ability to be vegan as such as animal testing is rationalized on (human testing hereunder).

TRUMP
I support the man;
1. he is a being
2. he is there
3. I think feminism wise at least he can be criticized whereas the at the time alternative would mean many sinking into misery, rationalization growing in the hidden etc. - also harming maleism (yes we are hurt to. Aint it fantastic to be a male; pride of this be right!).
4. Indirectly I kind of cancel out support of much of the wrong he does unless supporting psychiatry/participatory in passive abuse of me though some sadly are empowered to abuse by the rightness I do. Talking the language, bridging etc. as well.
5. I am really tired of hipocricy; "Trump is wrong and evil" - massive resource spent on this wasted instead of invested in achieving the same affect by like going vegan and renouncing drugs entirely (participation in causing alcoholism is not okay..).
6. I was hurt to an extent you barely fathom. You all were right there. Even empowering psychiatry. Builds on a pattern I find less worthwhile wasting time cancelling out than other harm I need deal with that happen to involve what go entirely against much.
7. I like weapons, guns, explosives, rockets as in space etc. and still do. Definitely attempted brainwashed to not. Not like such will disappear; an entirely fairtrade, ecological and vegan in consumed productionline gun would provide for much better aim - less burden on the wielder. Sadly I now realize a warlord in africa would be better with this even using childsoldiers than empowering a force empowering what psychiatry does even to kids here; ruining such more than using such as childsoldiers and both kind of needing recovery. < energy likely inconvenient and part of the harm of me; attempted suppressed away during electiontime. I fell to some extent; should I prioritize healing that which would just be done again and worsen or invest the limited resource available to me sustainably and in highest good alignment < thought may be part of the corruption/taint where such as hatred occured. Its kind of meaningless to drain the resourcepool if the investment does not generate surplus nor actual karmahealing ("invisible overall gain").
8. Such psychiatricism especially empowered by such as stupid women end up in authoritative stance; hacking me with unwanted effects of learning from example (like backstabbing extremely from a highest good standpoint).

However dafuq is wrong with you all attacking she like that..
Thanks tho; I sense a strange support of me.
Strangely also by she and the entire situation.
She seem overall innocent to me when it comes to both Trump, harm of that which would manifest so beautifully yet is deformed into trolling and negative labeling due partially obviousness of she sensing me and situationally sensed which living deeper she naturally like interface with healingly thus able to sense not unaligned communication I provide here though indeed causing me to comment.

I KNOW NOT WHY THIS PART POPPED UP.. AT ALL.. what a neat thought actually and I am likely one of few able to.
Playing with an idea is like an energy structure reformed/molded/combined with other things.
Like: Such a nice idea with a woman beside me.. "Know he who touches the wife of another as an outcast" (negative label but its an outcasting point) and certainly I would not need be as wary of being around others of akin age which is a neat thought. Naivity though.. I felt attempted bred - intelligence desire when could simply be unlocked.. Did you know babies are produced satisfying collectivity like highs as was it a joint or a bottle of vodka? Its vile..

I am not really one for big city living though..

Reasons:
Monks working/labor conditions - at least a course able to enter sexuality makes sense. Needs not be with me.. Just a principle.. Consumer demand (compassion, ability to forgive etc.) yet not rape.....

Not ending up locked in exploitative interconnectivity..

I like being trusted; I kinda get a kick from it..


I know not if domesticative affect likely present in above form: However be a little wary thanks. Grandma better not be feeding off of me sexual qi/interest/opening up in the presence of interesting female.. I am a bit too used to that by now; its frankly disgusting - at least if you not be too closely related out of 7.000.000.000 it not so bad but its like vileness upon vileness. Like trying to sound younger; hacking straight into me like reaching for something. Its vile.. And could ye show she some respect; in at least several ways of greater authority and depth than you.. Would be nice to be able to learn from a good example. So much is lost in disrespect and lacking respect where such is right - personal experience. Respect, tone etc. are not tools of control and affect cognitive functionality of you.


Not okay to use me; blocking me from meditating with buddhists and then trying to dump and pacify me misusing buddhism or cause me no real options except etc
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PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2019 4:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Listened to the song again.
Morale boost is neat; only deeper than warfare.

I perceive you seem to be too closely related/are.
"play with fire and you end up burnt"
Cannot play with that idea .. began gaining hold this morning..
Besides it would still be like the great pedophile frankly (no its not paranoid) putting two people together and na?vity causing the rest to occur.
Would be possible though and personally safe; a neat way to meet etc. though depth could occur. You seem not too close to psychiatrics on the point and heck knows; I may just be a factor drawing in that direction formerly.

"You are open source" one could attribute a "subliminal communication" occuring in the song. Fits neatly with the "advancing human" project I worked on earlier < neither paranoid nor untrue and synchronous with 2015 (may be a ripple in audio community? + a friend (I was living with alongside another friend at the time to me) at the time was in Paris half a year I think synchronous with the release) however over-attribution can occur - part of a sum scenario and increasingly likely if rationalizing on the negative affect upon others from the way one lives.

Last post unless writing something.
Closed idea.
I need distance lest that gain hold..
Other layers to me than awareness luckily.
Pardon the semi-hijacking of thread that occured..
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PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2019 8:39 am    Post subject: "Spoke too fast there" Reply with quote

I recognize so much in the growing up you describe; relating to it though a suburb for me.
The non-spirituality and absolute denial.
The endeavouring into religiousity - being "confirmed" into christianity out of tradition, the only alternative to deep research-like science, ethical principles I liked - God was not a real thing.
Then at age 19 entering spirituality openminded; exploring all faiths tho as is approximated in a translation of Tao Te Ching "Tao can be experienced/perceived from within a room" which I can confirm as I was drugged and generally suppressed.. Not as enjoyable a story from there.. Never was able to travel; I am kind of global in type - I need to. Needed ask permission for about everything and frankly kind of but less so still - its very weird at this age..

I kept going amidst the vileness, grew deeply devoted. I also recognize the domesticative/demoralizing/ownership or possessive occurences (capabability).

First time I encountered someone with this level of similarity though I sadly was caused dissimilarity by 2016 literally abuse by psychiatry (not just national such being unsafe) however unmanly that sounds to say.. That feels quite bad in a honesty yet there definitely is a separative energy as in blocking talking (not talking about relationships or lost in delusions.. though you definitely are soulmate material relative to me while that whole close related out of total possibility is a truth thus an actual cancelling out of that factor.. Though .. something..).


SO: THAT LAW OF ONE
?I am Ra. The Law of One, though beyond the limitations of name, as you call vibratory sound complexes, may be approximated by stating that all things are one, that there is no polarity, no right or wrong, no disharmony, but only identity. All is one, and that one is love/light, light/love, the Infinite Creator" https://www.lawofone.info/

structure repetetively producable consisting mostly of soundwaves. However another layer to a name is written symbolism - also structure - similarly an invoked effect upon the mentioning of a name occur (memory/neural activation, response patterns etc.) when people say "hi.. $name" and thus there is another structure to that.

However "all things are one" - living vegan -> it become apparent that fundamental equality exists - cognitive capacity is not lost by neural suppression - thus similarly fundamental oneness. If you look at a skyscraper you will see that the firmer, deeper, healthier produced (eco, vegan etc. affected structural stress and like piece of iron shattering at stress on a point..) the greater this can reach in height etc. Similarly this berry like thing with spikes from a tree makes visible that the greater the unity the greater the space for individuality/uniqueness while that also allowing for exploration thus growth of unity. However not false oneness as achieved by sacrificing addiction - such as psychiatric suppression of people for non disturbance. Something that drains the deeper oneness of everything.

The absolute oneness is so to differing extents; much based on how one individual exists such connects to greater lesser extent (that of me was ruined/drained 2016.. during abuse).
The oneness can end up drained. "All is one.. except.. because such are sacrificed for unity to be" which is not unity; fear etc. arise - self protection etc. draining collaborative capacity as resource prioritization is diverted from such as risk taking in terms of broad collaboration to such as avoidance of being sacrificed.

Besides if pointing to an originator type as creator possibly with the depiction of such to be God there is the present lack of ability to acknowledge inability/limitation as to fathom existence/it all - to me God is not created nor "the" or a creator and I find that depictive (like making statues of deities).

There is a degree of oneness; excess certainly blocks that from being present. I like this "two items/things a day removed from life before midnight" though I fail somewhat consciously since I arrived at less than 108 physical objects "administrating" (I dislike ownership).

By the way I was always kind of connected to Japan - partially connected to the dad to me. I lived in Massachussets near Boston and now slightly north of Copenhagen - a bit closer than where I grew up (I know not what to do as apartment ends 2 weeks from now and I aint going yogi.. Not here.. Need reach goodbyes.. I ponder if beginning consuming public transport to reach points is a good idea though frankly I doubt that betters things overall.. I walk much..).


I identify with being an adult creation (regardless of degrees of creationism involved) and citizen - like an overgrown child resolving issues in home where parents and siblings fail.. Though learning that things will not really change; I can just change me and not others - the environment changes not when such change not and not really anything I can do regardless of how resolved civilization is. "Advancing Society" felt like enslaved work..


----- PEACEFORMING ------

AMENDS_point
I apologize for going as far as provocatively and out of vileness communicating in a way about Trump not so nice for various people.. The same for hatred/fear as I was wronged and the a bit too timed disillusionment that occured as I learned truth during that electiontime and ripple-effects that started..

TRUTH
(I was being hurt very severely..). Being in a situation regardless of how and why where I was that vulnerable, unable to withstand the harm/pressure, failing into dysfunctionality, on verge of being locked in permanently while kept alive and stuffed addictive drugs and brainwashed caused to sink into madness granting further presedence to lock-in and abuse etc. thus self-seeking to not affected selflessness, unable to care for self - even as "karma" started somewhere and is not excuseable with 'bad things from past lifetime'-type domesticative "you are wrong/its the fault of you and not me"-thing then I did end up becoming in a situation of being where I ended up in not so good situations and that navigative defect ending up a major part of a sum in situation/s occuring leading to harm occuring.. I am kind of deciding that self-centeredness like seeking enlightenment, heaven, not hell etc. instead of service is harmful.

AMENDS_point
However in line with that I must say the empowerment of abuse and outright direct or passive participation even support of and encouragement of abuse was and is wrongful; whether feeling fooled or not. I forgive that however I need to be safe and not by becoming a monk

TRUTH
(they are misused also.. compassion etc. much consumed and are high on sexual anorexia however glorified (how would one do what one does if not distanced, unaffectable, damageable etc. not living healthily microbiologically - no offense meant but its abuse of them and not much different than smoking marijuana or poppin' pills and the thinking generates rationalization and denial about addiction which I also forgive for yet still need be safe)).

Partially this I state "through" (medium) and partially directly to.
I know not if "Hikari" know others akin however I do not thus passively directly to means more to me as she just means more whether I know she or not - not as attachment but just a presence in .. not only the world/planet/civilization but also greater structure.
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hysterical_bored_snail
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PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2019 10:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Conclusion occurence:
1. You a CIL(L)F
2. There is likely a guy out there that is not too closely related and touching the wife of friend or relative is an outcasting point - thus practicing that principle in all affairs; the way such lives and be to be able to be possible partner for you means such is friend according to logic I wrote above - also good for global unity.
3. Sex - while not if done wrongly - is vital for a partnership; its like handshakes and encryption; ascertaining observing effects, status etc.
4. Imperfection is vital - even going past border of not too closely related there are still other factors that can be making for less wrong and rightful occurence
5. -- logic about not sex - Purity does matter; I might as well do something good with that I carry and not needed known to me; purification is possible at least to extents - however as mentioned sex is in the right circumstance rightful and healthy; necessary even yet that not if in wrongful situation (individual know best although I certainly am/was attempted broken to enter such). Similarly in the right case you would like open up. I am atheist a bit like you asexual - I just am not part of any one structuringflow/container/label of "theism" while I am actually deeply theistic - much in like of religion.
6. Negative labeling you could heal from however increasingly so voluntarity and interconnectivity support would be required. The risk of hikari applying that upon me in some case of like desperation too high - its severely damaging and would cause the dysfunction and growth like eating into me to worsen drastically - need to clean that up before risking contact even friendship with people and cultures suffering that (the closer to me and more rightful such be the worse the harm/damage/corruption and negative manifestation/flow from this - I cannot afford that).
7. Definitely "Twin flame" regardless of non-partnering.

Also in loyalty to all the guys annoyed when you accept not sex with them (which is not wrong - seems contrarily). "Why you waste me time - can you not perceive I am not in surplus for caring for one occupying space reserved for partner where sex is the case.." - They are still bro's and many of them less so passively betraying me (also due to curcumstance caused here that be so though). They also though should be able to perceive it not an option yet likely unable to resist broadly attractive effect (I work on refining this personally; everyone are family and living by this a good start) - a collective compliment as well.

Thus friendlike - however not in some weird non-aware direct contact way for that I truly cannot care about. However I would fail at both sexual and romantic attraction - I would not ponder/comment if you would.

I am real glad you wrote here. Was and kind of am giving up - too unsustainable situation with way too much burden and stress while miserable life and as mentioned not joy of contact while feeling enslaved, used, abused which is not just a feeling. Very moralizing - neat to know you exist. Makes it possible for me to continue caring about deeper reality than just this universe on levels where I cannot without.

I despise being programmed though; excess of that already.
Seems I was programmed using trauma etc. since childhood - you aint going to be a tool used for another uncomfortable/negative emotional experience.
Better just cancel out excess; like relations unaligned with way of living etc. (in case of me all relations - things went too far and its unaffordable to even try making it affordable fixing/going about the scars. Thats just done and the only thing left to do goodbyes) - thereby also cancelling out drainpoints of prana (which is experienced during such as domesticative actions. As you mentioned youthful life energy some like hunger for - I am surely drained also by older women trying to sound younger causing me to open up harmfully).
Hikari/whatever the name - you are still attractive and know that I would yet am wary enough to not and care about it all still. I would not really feel bad failing with you in all honesty.

I am a bit too open about such thing am I not?
I ponder if the "unclothing" of rationale and thinking is a bit stripper-like.
Talking/communicating is fundamentally similar to sex by the way.. A good reason to bring such practice to a more navigateable level where all the senses are part of like excercise forming structuring.

Would you mind replying so I know I can delete/edit and thus add a random string instead of the text? I like cleaning/removing tracks.. A bit too open..

Hope its of use to you.
Monks choosing celibacy; its not "a sacrifice" - its they being sacrificed, abused, used.
I understand why ones walk such a path when seems not possible to walk rightful path.
Often a fault of interconnectivity/relations/personal network structure unwilling to let go - holding a person in circumstance where asexuality is more rightful/less wrong.
Possible "unless" entering a circumstance like monkhood where what seems l... About gain and loss, fears and illusion if gain - real ugly stuff like selling children for money (children produced as tools).

If you need help you are welcome to contact me currently - private message or something..
Be aware though of mentioned energies..

Current situation for me though: "I know not if there is reason to live" caused by circumstance -suicide is illegal especially in case of me> psychiatric drug suppression etc. and illusion I would remain as result. Holding on to a person regardless of how that damages such and ruins the life of they is human encattlement, cuddle slavery, abuse, not friendship of familistic.

I am only confirmed in "Leave family to be able to be with family" -- see I came into contact with you; a good thing.
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hysterical_bored_snail
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PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2019 10:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Candid wrote:
Feeling good is still a great aim, Hikari.

I must say I'm mystified by most of hysterical_bored_snail's posts Confused but he's helping a very small crew keep the forum active.


Its because of a couple of things:
1. Its like quantum mathematics
2. Neural suppression from way you live blocks cognitive capacity - you become unable to understand because of the painful experience not of awareness but various harmful things that the sensation of pain informs you about - avoidance of pain.. Many if not most of us suffer that though I seem to embrace it while obviously not the damages/harm. Its not something to find for granted; not being blocked from feeling pain that would generate inconvenient actions to quit harmful circumstance..
3. Interconnectivity, negative attachments, lifesituation increasingly making communication hard especially since 2016 psychiatric abuse, loss of greencard, moved to situation, various things.. partially the social herding/interconnectivity I end up in even if not in-person/visibly where an infective growth essentially forms.
4. Harmful perceiving of me repetetively forming communicative pattern
5. That I stopped caring to talk with anyone where talk is meaningless - while I am caused to communicate. Non-caring and giving in growth - ending up just disappearing away in damages, stupidity, harm etc. till dying from the extreme wronging of it all.
6. Whether I want you to or not some things are unwanted known - unhealthy mutational trajectories of data. "But thats insane.." - think of it like this: Would you want people extremely exploitative, sacrificing much, misusing knowledge, abusing hacking domesticating drugging suppressing people to be with information about you or data such would use harmfully? (Imagine such people gained a video so very voluntarily after drugging and hurting me and activating a mindset I hope I eliminated from me by now of brainwashing - responsepatterns analyzeable and possibly fed to students - culture being able to hack me l)..

This part I really did not feel like sharing in the context of contact to this attractive Hikari person.. Ends up being miserable/vile/dysfunctional feel-bad motivator for sexual interaction which I really do not care to inspire - argueably ones that suffer that are stuck in interconnectivity that causes such to in order to access effects of a person doing sex/being in a relationship which is just vile.. I hope.. I just really hope.. That I am not being "helped along" like that........ Not that I would rather die than be with Hikari however certainlt rather die than that or "you just need be opened up for once then it happens by itself" - fasting sexually if I am like on deathrow sounds not that bad.

By the way no reason for you to die - in case such be connected to above - I can guide you however ye all aint holding me in misery nor using she as tool to hold me to this continent. Willingness required though and death aint that much of a motivator.. We exist forever - while a setback/loss of investment and the world unable to afford loss of valuability - thus death not that bad. I wont state death to another and gladly do part of me but not meaninglessly and I am of certain boundaries.. However wrong that seem try viewing that circumstantially - its not quite like situation of a "human" which seem a dysfunctional identifier while I find it disrespectful of what is typically meant by angels to use that wording.
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 77

PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2019 6:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Food hell joy: "yay! Sundown! I can eat!" Reply with quote

hysterical_bored_snail wrote:
How is all of below connected with breatharianism: prana, flows, drains, gains - non-need.

.

Thankyou for all the messages,
Jmw and Candid mentionned to me by private messages that they think you might be a bot?
I hope you don't take this as an offense if you are a real person! I think being a bot is quite cool
But If you are a real person, where are you from?
Your way to express yourself is quite original, English is not my first language so I am not sure I can find out where you come from.
And if you are a bot , who created you?

I am gonna take some time to read all this.
In fact I like to read original things and ideas so I will take the time to read .
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 77

PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2019 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did not posted for a while because I did not have internet and took distance with Wifi.
I managed now to feel better, I managed to only eat once every other day for a week..but now I just started a training to become a sound technician since yesterday and since this morning I took bad habits as I bought me food yesterday and ate yesterday evening, this morning and this evening...(and of course now I feel sick)

I think I can only eat no more than once a day and eating just once every other day (so 3 times a week) is what I want to achieve as it is something not too hard that I can do with a bit of discipline.
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Candid



Joined: 15 Jul 2018
Posts: 119
Location: Reading, UK

PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2019 6:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That sounds like a good idea. I've been on it and off it (fasting) for a while now, still working up to being food-free.

By the way, we got rid of that hysterical_bored_snail. Very Happy

And I'm happy to see you back here. I thought we'd lost you.
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