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Prana in Paris
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 7:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 8:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

error

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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is something that makes me upset:
It is people that need to tell me that my music is gloomy and creepy.
I don't know if they realise that nowhere I claim to be talented?
I am just training myself, and when we train it is important to try over and over and over again.
If we never train, we never progress.
So if those people tell me this because they hope I am gonna stop, well too bad for them, because I am never going to stop! so if they don?t like what I do they should just not listening to it !! (the world is a huge place, so they probably gonna find an artist they enjoy somewhere)..
And if all the artists would listen to the people that tell them they should stop producing because they do gloomy stuff, well ..the world would be a very sad place because there won't be any beautiful piece of art anywhere....So to the people that would like me to stop expressing myself:
Are you not able to realise that even the most talented artists had to train a lot before they managed to do something really good?


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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well I failed totally again ...
I started eating everyday again
all the worse stuff
like hummous, eggplant with sesame seed spread, bread
( I just ate a full bag of 360gr of wholewheat rolls from M&S!!! with one avocado and than raw dark chocolate with coconut and xylitol)

I know this is really unhealthy.
I became sick several times this week because I think I often ate really too much ...I remember I felt horrible a few days ago after I ate a full box of eggplant spread I bought from the supermarket (with additive and pretty bad stuff in it ) with a full bag of corn cakes of about 25 cakes!!! around 135 gr)


I told about this to a friend and she told me she thinks I am hurting my body to do this (eating a lot than fasting several days)

Well I started thinking about that.
I do not want to believe I hurt myself, I think it is a depressing thought that is not going to help me move forward.
What is helping me to move forward and that I like better to believe is that I needed to experiment the horrible feeling it is to eat too much of one or several things so that I understand that food is not healthy (I think that if I become sick after eating a certain amount of it, it means it is not healthy no matter the quantities)

I feel mAny people would get upset or think I am dumb or deluded and would tell that the truth is not what feels comfortable for me to believe but is something universal that works the same for everyone.
But regarding my own body: I think that my own body (as my own feelings and my own thoughts) belongs to me alone so I am the only one who has the power to decide how my body works, what is harmful and what is good for it.
So I do not feel that overeating than fasting several days is really harmfull but it certainly does make me sick to eat too much ( but eating just a little bit also maybe does not make me sick right away but makes me sad, upset negative and depressive) so for my own good I must do what is right...and hope I will finally do it!!!


I also noticed on several occasions now as I took the time to meditate on it, that this feeling of hunger my body creates sometimes is in fact hidding something else, it seems to be an habit my body took to express negatives emotions like frustration, sadness, anxiety...and when I manage to resist to this feeling of hunger I felt incredible joy and peace a few moments after...(so it was really worth to resist)
Because if I eat, not only I do not feel better, but I can also overeat and then become super sick...)

So I guess my own truth is that I need to reprogram myself with the way that I interpret how my body works that is the most helping me to become stronger, better and happier.
Because if I would just believe doctors or friends or random people , well I would take anti depressant pills, I would cheat on my veganism everytime I would feel a bit down (even vegan friends told me I should eat eggs time to time) , I would still be sick from my auto-immune disease and probably be in a wheel chair by now, I would not be able to do the split, , not be able to play bass super fast and the most complicated pieces (after a really bad hand accident from the left hand that made me loose all sensations and flexibility in one finger and that doctors told me I could never get back)....
I would not have been able to find a training as a sound technician, would not have studied mechanics, would not sew and design my own clothes, would have never been able to earn money from modeling, from translating, would not have been able to learn music softwares and compose my own music and write my own songs...and soooo many other things..because people constantly need to tell me limited things and try to put me in a mold . Or interpret things from their own point of view unable to imagine anything different. (and also having points of views that were teached to them that they never tried to experiment if they are really the truth, they just blindly believe what they read and what seems to be the most common boring thing to believe)

Well I could basicly do nothing if I would listen to people rather than myself so I think I will keep on trusting me alone and interpret things how I think this help me to move forward.


And at the moment I do not manage to resist always because at the moment many things makes me anxious and when I am anxious I forget to listen and pay attention to my body.
Well I guess that is the price to pay to want to live in a big city rather than in the countryside . So maybe that is why maybe it is harder for me to become breatharian, but that does not mean I will never reach my goal.

I started to realise as well that I am very lucky to know one thing that helps me to compensate all this stress: it is dancing!! stretching ! and just taking constantly care of my posture . it really does help to feel energies and to feel less anxious. And I hope I am not gonna over eating again because it felt really horrible. I became so sick , I wanted to vomit than was bloated on top with headache and horrible thoughts again and a uncomfrotable feeling in my blood that I believe is the poison that is inside every piece of food that I eat.


I also know that this path I am on, is something that I cannot share with anyone in real life as most people are not able to understand this.
And I must keep strong, because the people surrounded me have beliefs that are very different from mine and I absolutly do not want to get influenced by them. I do not want to share anything and have anything in common with what I witness people do and believe on this planet .
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Candid



Joined: 15 Jul 2018
Posts: 62

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 11:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hikari, you didn't incarnate on this planet to shun other people. You came here because you have wisdom to share with others.

There is no need to starve yourself, or to eat food that hurts you.

Everything in your life right now is telling you you're going the wrong way.

I know you can do better.
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't worry! I am doing very fine now!
Today is full moon and it always have a deep impact on me.
I believe I can feel full and new moon's highest pick inside my body and this morning I felt it around 9h-11 am
And I also have my periods..my periods are often in phase with the moon cycle
So it is a time right now of letting go wrong habits...
I think and realized that often before full moon (by the end of the cycle, the 2 last weeks) I start doing things that are very negative and that I hate to do (like overeating this month, last month I think I became aware of the wrong things I focused on..well each month I do something very unhealthy just before fullmoon) .
And since the beginning this year, there is only one month when I did not have my periods at the same time of full moon and it was in march..I got them 5 days before..but all the other months I started bleeding during full moon...so it is not a coincidence to me no more, I think I am really in phase to the moon cycle now.
Every month since my awakening (that I believe happened first in June 2017 and was confirmed in November 2017 when I believe I was visited by ETs) I have to let go and liberate me from something.
And if I manage to liberate me at full moon during the highest pick I know I will never come back doing that thing .
I must just be aware that this is the thing that full moon is going to help me to let go.

Now I think I understood really deep into my core that I must not overeat no more and I also understood that I do not need to eat much and that at the moment it is ok if I still eat everyday but I must not eat on mornings no more and take that habit and must not eat more than 2 fruits a day ..at the moment I still eat dry fruits and I started eating oat again because my body is telling me that oat is the thing that will help me to get rid of wheat and corn addiction completly. But I think I will not overeat no more but still eat everyday but no more than 2 times a day and really small quantities (like a fruit and some dry fruits or a fruit and some oat ) and I will see next full moon if it is gonna be the time to reduce to once a day .

I had pretty good news today now so I think I am also in a creative process, I am creating my future right now and that is the reason why I am in phase with the moon and I bleed at full moon.

Anyway, I hope one day I will become breatharian completly...but it is hard as I am surrounded by people doing very unhealthy things and talking about subjects that I find really depressing at the moment so it is already very hard to not feel down by it and I already feel very awkward because it does not seem to me that there is anybody else that could understand and believe to what I experience in my life. Even though I evolve in the musical , artistic world...I feel most people really lack deeply imagination and only believe stuff that were brainwashed to them. Even if they are into celtic music and elves ..they do not seem to believe it for real.
The difference with me is that I believe magic and fantasy to be the real truth.

And I know that this fullmoon is the last one of liberation until next winter.
Because last year I remember during summer until the winter equinoxe I went through a deep transformation and at each full moon I became aware of new powers. I became able to do the split, to sing very high, to play super fast..I remember the day I discovered that I could sing very high was after full moon in August and 2 days after I was with a friend and we witnessed many UFOS in the sky...so summer is an intense time and I can't wait to discover what I gonna become aware of this year. But I already got very good news today..so I feel like I already know my future...because I am creating it right now.


Last edited by Hikari on Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:02 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think the date of Fall 2021 that I said previously is still the limit.
Because I also got confirmation during this full month by synchronicity many times again that this date is a date of great change.
So I believe that is the time when I will finally be breatharian
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I must first get rid of my wheat pop corn and chocolate addiction before trying to fast for too long.
Once I'll get rid of that, there won't be much that I would still eat.
And with oat I manage to limit me to small quantities, so it does not seem to be as addictive as wheat and pop corn because almost everytime I ate wheat and pop corn I overate than got sick.or became obsessed by it if I stoped eating it before it made me sick.
But now I trust myself that I will overcome it because I suddenly understood that it is really not doing anything good to me ( I can't focus, it gives me pains in my body, it is hard to diggest and it is addictive) and it is nothing more than poison.

With chocolate it is a bit harder, but I do not eat chocolate everyday no more, I think this is the thing I gonna keep until the very last as a reward, but eat it less and less often (at the moment I eat chocolate 2-3 times a week, sometimes I manage to eat it only once a week) and I used to eat a lot everyday. I would like to eat only a small bar of 30gr once a week.
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Candid wrote:
You came here because you have wisdom to share with others.



Personaly I do not believe I have any wisdom to share to anyone.
I am not even sure people really exist.
To me they are avatars or illusions from my subconscious.
It is as if my daily life was just an other dream.
And most of the people surrounding me, I don't feel like I can share anything to them...they have their point of view and their belief so they are too closed in their mind to listen to mine.
And I can tell just by the face expression of people, when they don't like me or find me weird. People get very easily upset if we talk about anything that is different from the mainstream and it is already difficult to be vegan in Paris lol...most non vegan people only think I am dumb and follow a trend. They do not understand anything deeper than that. And just by listening to them I can tell they are not open minded on anything different than what they see in TV and listen on radio or read in the mainstream.
It just seem to me that my subconsciouss created me one really good friend that is able to be in phase with whatever I talk to her and it really seems supernatural ..so I think my subsconscious is going to create more of these...Since it is realising that there is no point to create situations of discomfort and pain and sadness all the time as magic and supernatural things are much more pleasant to experiment.
I don't think I came to this planet to share any wisdom to anyone. I think I came here to accomplish myself
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

seriously I can't stand men on this planet, I am fed up by all this misogyny I must constantly face!!! it is horrible that we women we must hide our face hide our voice hide our writings because so many men are just mentally sick and perverts and gonna contact us imagining themselves totally twisted things!!! So I warn all the crazy men here that I am not reading any of my private messages anymore and I AM TAKING SAFETY MEASURES:
PLEASE BE AWARE THAT EVERYTHING YOU WRITE TO ME BY PRIVATE MESSAGE IS GOING TO BE READ BY SOMEONE ELSE THAN I AND WILL BE REGISTERED AND SEND TO THE POLICE IF THE CONTENT IS NOT APPROPRIATE Wink
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I precise as well that inappropriate messages that are public on my space (on this forum,in my facebook or my blog or anywhere else ) will also be denounced to the police.
by inappropriate I mean: messages of sexual nature, insults, and vulgarity as well as perversity and death threats)

(So really be carefull when you post here, the 2 previous males or bot that wrote on this thread both wrote things that were not appropriate and next time this happens I am not going to tolerate it and will take legal action Wink
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think since Full moon I truly evolved..because now I am really completly disgusted by everything made of wheat and corn.

And I only eat a bit at lunch and a bit at 4 pm.
I can very easily skip breakfast and dinner because I am not hungry.

Sometimes I feel hungry a bit at lunch.
and I usually don't feel hungry at 4pm but I just want to eat to sort of relax me.

But since this morning I am sick again so I feel like I should make a pause with eating...and reducing the quantities
This lunch I ate a small orange + a small peach (organic) + a handful of dry fruits (cashew , almonds, hazelnuts + raisins)
By 4, I ate: one small banana (but all the other days this week I only eat 2 fruits a day) + one avocado + lyophilized parsley + dry garlic + oat + corn (in a can but not as pop corn)...

I ate mostly the same thing everyday this week (but this is my first avocado from the week, other days I ate white beans instead of corn and avocado)


I don't know which is the thing making me sick, maybe beans maybe oat again or dry fruits...I just gonna be carefull this week end..I know I still want to eat so I will eat at lunch probably . I don't want to force my body to fast at the moment because I am not sure it is cured from wheat and pop corn addiction yet so just taking the habit to fast on mornings and evenings and to eat no more than only 2 small fruits a day, some dry fruits and oat and a few herbs and sometimes mushrooms sometimes coconut and dark raw chocolate + green raw chinese tea is my diet at the moment
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Cipher



Joined: 31 May 2019
Posts: 16

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2019 6:34 pm    Post subject: ggzOFPEL2h Reply with quote

ggzOFPEL2h

Last edited by Cipher on Tue Jul 02, 2019 12:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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Hikari



Joined: 21 Jan 2019
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2019 3:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

a new update:
Well I still stay away from wheat and I am not tempted anymore, everytime I see bread or corn cakes or hummus, I just remind me again about how sick I felt after eating too much of it (but even on small quantities I did not feel right)

I also stoped eating oat one week ago (because I feel oat in my blood flow, as if something in it was poisoning me, I believe it is the phytates or oxalates)

Then I also stoped eating everything that I used to eat in cans so corn and legumes (because I think it is too unhealthy and legumes give me digestive issues + corn is too much sugar).

So all I eat now is mushrooms and 2 fruits a day + Dry fruits and nuts (cashew, almonds, raisins and walnuts)
I would like to reduce to one fruit a day and reduce the quantities of dry fruits and nuts because I think 2 fruits is too much sugar, it makes me fat!!!
(and it also started to give me strong pains in my teeth from time to time, which is also weird because my teeth looks very healthy on the outside)

I really gain very fast and I don't like to feel fat.
I think maybe I do not even need to eat anything to gain weight, as I also loose very very slowly (I feel that just eating one fruit cancels all my efforts to loose weight)!.
Than again, I am not truly fat, I have quite a normal weight but I work out a lot and it feels weird that I do not burn all this fat I have...in the past , like before I turned vegan, a few years ago I remember just exercising 30 mins a day made me very toned in 3 weeks.
Now it is weird because I am toned in some areas and in others I feel very flabby. And I noticed at the beginning after I stoped eating wheat, I felt again very good in my body for a few days but now it seems my body can't handle 2 fruits a day no more..it is becoming too much for it...and it is weird because it is in such a small amount of time!!!!
I am gonna start my 3rd week with no wheat and second week with no legumes, no corn.
so this week I am gonna try to only eat 1 fruit instead of 2 but I am not sure I'll be able. As I still feel like I need to occupy me with food at 4 pm and lunch.
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