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my blog on adapting food intake toward breatharianism
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 91
Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:30 pm    Post subject: pushing and pulling sensations... Reply with quote

pushing and pulling sensations...

While I've been resuming a little more eating, I can feel its effect on my body really clearly. Also what I feel is that eating or not eating, neither really matter that much. Today, the food was having a strange effect, like pushing and pulling my body back and forth, a funny sensation.

Mid morning I was sitting with the children having a coffee, while they were having a snack, in cafe overlooking some water, and something happened to me, or my mind. Something I've felt before, but more acutely this time. I felt like consciousness is everywhere at once, and that consciousness really manifests through the body not via the head or eyes, but from the heart area. As I sat there, I really was experiencing this perfect expanse of Awakeness running through me as me - it was calm, true, not excitable nor emotional. My thinking mind really wasn't there very much. It was peaceful rather than 'happy', though this perfect expanse quite naturally leads to a more carefree and 'happy' state of mind. This feeling was like a ray of light, or a radius, like a sheet of light that extends in all directions simultaneously without end. I also saw how work is needed to bring the body and mind into alignment, to resonate more fully, with such things. In my case, probably rather a lot of work Smile)

And I couldn't work out, again, how matter comes to be constructed, how things really manifest, how things are created out of this infinite sheet of consciousness. As I sat there, it seemed to me, that it really is just an illusion; and that the actual 'trick' in getting past the main barrier, lies in understanding one's own (beautiful) consciousness - and the non-reality of perceived reality i.e. thoughts that attract similar thoughts (books, people, situations, and which only appear to corroborate what one thinks...)

I've grappled with this before, trying to draw out from the infinite, some answer that makes sense in the finite, but there are no real ways to do this... a concrete way of dealing with this seemingly impossible barrier...and yet, it seems that having a more evolved body would be a definite advantage, in reflecting back some understanding, hence my interest in this subject. This is the work of light, really.

I've a long way to go!!

On a more practical note, I seem to have become totally uninterested by the thought of chocolate. It happened some months back, but seems to have settled back more fully, in a deeper way. Looks like I'm on the road to having the diet of a monk!

No meat, no fish, no dairy, no alcohol, no nicotine, no drugs, no chocolate, little cooked food - what's wrong with me! Oh yes, I still have caffein, but maybe not forever, I don't know.
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 91
Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:22 pm    Post subject: exaggerating certain impulses... Reply with quote

For a few days wasn't having evening meals again. Then, for various reasons, had a couple of evenings where I really *ate* a lot (vegan cooked, beans, grains, bread etc) - well, not a lot by conventional 'a lot' standards!), and I felt really drunk on food! And I was thinking to myself, this is why we eat. My inner vision dimmed, clouded, but for an instant, I felt good, in a sort of unconscious fashion. Who cares!? Let's eat!

But very soon, that tension in my abdomen started all over again, and I felt really bad. And with eating comes the desire for more eating. This I've reconfirmed to myself. Also, it shot my energy to pieces in various other ways, as well. My craving was weirdly intensified. I could feel myself nearly shaking when it came to lunch the next day, maybe because all that eating did something to my blood sugar levels. This is a bit strange, as I've never been someone who's had that blood sugar level drop thing, which some people get, and they *have* to eat to function. I've always been quite even in that way. Funny how my old fashioned way of eating, now seems to feel really bad.

On some level I feel that this refinement is pushing all the buttons, turning over stones, and exaggerating certain impulses. I'm going to trim down again, now I can see a bit better the effects of eating unconsciously and eating unnecessarily. I feel all the time that food is a strange thing to rely on, and that it's just bizarre to have this zombie-like existence of food, supermarkets, and everything that goes with it. All the destruction.

Must increase level of training again, physical fitness, to help things along.
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
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Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:57 pm    Post subject: Coffee investigation and such things Reply with quote

Some updates. Did without coffee for 7 days. First couple of days, headaches etc, craving coffee 3rd and 4th day, 5th day not too bad, 6th, no feeling for it, 7th, didn't care whether I had coffee or not - but went on holiday that day as well, so had coffee anyway, even though I didn't particularly want it. Drinking coffee again, but not much. It's rather like getting past the craving stage of it, made me see that I was alright with it, to have or not to have. Again no evening meals at the moment, though sometimes an orange or something, otherwise lunch and breakfast 'normal', but avoid processed as much as poss.

Strange, but I don't seem to mind pre-cooked cooked food as much as I do cooked-and-ready-to-serve cooked food. For example, oats which have been hardened I don't seem to mind at the moment, as well as some bread. It's a bit like, I want that burnt taste or feeling in things, but not sloppy cooked vegetables and such like (though hummus I still quite like, which is obviously incredibly cooked and churned and sloppy). I don't know why that should be. In some ways I feel like I'm really bored of food, so something which is burned, or toasted, gets through that taste barrier I have - perhaps a bit like coffee, same thing. Maybe something like that, not too sure really.

What's very useful for me to note, overall, is that the efforts I've been making in trying to sort out my food intake, has been opening some spaces within me and has definitely been worth it so far. Smile
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:58 pm    Post subject: love, love, love, love, love Reply with quote

love, love, love, love, love

Physical training coming on really well. Been running again, just under 3 miles every two days. Got up the big hill without stopping on 6th run. Press-ups, I can max out at 35 now, but haven't pushed it to 40 yet.

Food, same as usual (vegan - some breakfast, some lunch, no dinner though sometimes fruit for dinner) - but there is a distinct change in how I feel after cooked food. I watch my reaction closely, wondering how much of it might have been informed by what others have gone through. But I see my reaction to be genuine. For some reason, heavily cooked food makes me feel a bit sick afterwards. I can't really explain it. The only way to explain it, is that my body is going through some changes, and needs purer and purer stuff. I can eat, for example, a bowel of chips and beans if I wanted to, but aftwerwards, I would first of all feel a bit sicky, then even later, I would feel sort of distorted mentally and emotionally.

This leads me to attempt to explain again, what not eating food is all about, and why science can't back it up. It would be convenient if science and esoteric reality actually met.

Recently, have been feeling this eye-opening and profound feeling of love again - just love. Love, love, love. Like 'being in love', a real sensation in the heart and body, but with everyone and everything...

This is why having a vehicle - a body - that is running 100% efficiently is important to me. And if that means cutting back more and more on food things, so be it. Hoping that it'll help me cultivate things like patience and so on.

Went through Easter without any chocolate at all, despite everyone around me enjoying it. Could have got vegan choc, but couldn't be bothered really. In some ways, I'm a bit bored of the short-term taste-explosion of certain food things. How long would I go on with this? It doesn't look like a long-term plan to me. It's a sort of short-term sad self-indulgence - at least, that's how I experience it (ha ha, who's the party guy?!). A mask to hide general feelings of lowness.

Coffee: much less coffee, even actively avoiding it now quite often, which is a big change.

Takes a while to re-educate the mind as to the effect of foods and drinks etc on the whole of the body and psyche.

These experiences of love are like the way forward, just signposts. And it is amazing that love is the ultimate reality, no matter what science and such likes to amuse itself with. Science is like a giant cross-word or something, really quite fun, and can explain certain physical phenomenon, but can't explain the very phenomenon of life, since all explanations remain inside the phenomenon itself. Don't know why this point isn't stressed more in discussions.

Love, love, love....
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
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Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 11:08 am    Post subject: lately... Reply with quote

Lately... had a very hard day with foul emotions and feelings rising out of me, really crazy stuff... but this has passed now. Am experiencing my body in a really different way, as if there's this blueprint rising up, a blueprint where my body functions in a smoother and better way.

Still no evening meals. Really going off muesli and rice milk in the mornings, too. Lunch, salad still and fruit, bread also sometimes. Find intake of certain foods really incompatible with this underlying sense of eveness and balance - like leavened bread.

Deep feelings of existence and of reality.

Fitness wise - good runs, push ups, got up to 39, which is my personal best

(Am going to stop posting my blog to this forum, as I want to focus more somehow, but will be updating my blog http://bodyspiritual.blogspot.com/ more than before I think. Really, it's always meant to have been as a personal record of change)
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
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Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Since I checked out this forum today, thought I would add to the blog I started here ages ago (I keep it running on blogger now).

I eat mostly fruits and salad and nuts, about 70-80% of what I eat is that now- the other % is made up of oats, rice milk, hummus and occasionally wheat (leavened or unleavened)

Mornings - oats, rice milk, banana
Lunch - salad and such, hummus, pita bread
Evening - Fruits (liquified, a smoothie basically)

Afternoons I sometimes have a toasted tea cake, but really wonder why. Doesn't do much for me certainly, but I guess it's fun!

What is interesting is this. My weight has remained level, and I think that has to do with the muscle training I do. So on the one had I look thinner than I used to, but on the other my arms etc are a bit bigger. My fitness is improved.

I still drink coffee, but not as much.

I can feel this process of refinement going on gently, gently, gently, like a meandering mountain stream. I'm happy with that.

The worst time for me was when I became vegan from veggie. A lot of weird pains inside of me. But I guess, eating animal products is ingesting their pain, even milk. I think we feed our inner pain by eating pain foods, or something like that, so that we feel numb! So removing that level of food from my diet turned things over.
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
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Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 8:38 pm    Post subject: eating raw more consciously Reply with quote

(don't know why, felt like pasting my blog post over to the forum)

Sometimes I can't believe this journey that I'm on. I seem to be on a moving train that I can't jump off anymore, and it's really quite a joyous thing. Well I suppose I could if I really wanted to, but I don't see the point to go back to dead-ends.

I've been feeling these changes now I have this resolve within me. Just the act of walking through the garden, picking (and giving thanks, poor plants!) spinach, dandelion leaves and so on, and adding them to my fruits, blended together. All this is somehow working on me. The act of gathering locally is an interesting thing in itself. I feel that somehow humans are meant to gather locally, ideally, if they need to eat.

I find myself changed within, and don't find myself interested in certain food things which are on offer. I feel like the things I'm slowly discarding from my life, are being replaced by this sense of connection to deeper things. Just recently I've been discarding the small bits of bread I've been having once a day. Also, I'm drinking my one or two cups of coffee with a different sense now, less enjoyment I suppose. Perhaps I'll come back to that.

So while I'm eating mostly raw now, and have a lot more energy from it, I keep open minded as to where this might lead me. I think back to where i was, and see a huge change just from going mostly raw vegan. I can't advise anyone on breatharianism, as I'm not one, but it does strike me that for long-lasting and conclusive changes, going to natural food first and so on, is logically a good way of doing things, as it allows the body to adapt, whatever the eventual outcome. I've tried days of fasting and so on in the past, but in retrospect, i see it as a worthwhile exercise in seeing how the body reacts and copes etc, and how one feels - and perhaps, I was getting a little ahead of myself too.
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lovedimension



Joined: 09 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:51 am    Post subject: I don't want this! Reply with quote

(pasting my blog entry over again. I don't know why I even put the word Breatharianism on this thread as its main title. )

It's hard to describe what's going on with me at the moment, but it's really tough. I'm caught between things at the moment, from raw food to cooked. Sometimes I feel like I really want a cooked meal, so I have one, but then it doesn't sit in me at al well. I feel like I really don't want this struggle I'm in. I want to be happy with eating normally. But there is no 'normal', that is the truth; I've spent many years of my adult life just getting by and not connecting deeply to what I know. To that extent, everyone is being propped up psychologically by all kinds of things, especially food.

So what is happening to me? People talk about detox and a process, and perhaps that's what I'm on, but right now I don't know where it's going, so I can't say what it is. I feel like my tendencies are being accentuated. Added to this are the social difficulties, and being a father of two young children. In terms of the children, I feed them as I was fed (apart from dead animals), and hope for the best. Life seems to be all about unlearning what the world tried to make us believe.

It's as if many things are being removed from me somehow, and it's hard.
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lovedimension



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:27 am    Post subject: Just a bit of fun! Reply with quote

Hello dear readers at Breatharian forum. Thought I'd paste over again an entry from my blog. I've been minimizing my writing, not wanting to fill the airwaves with my endless ramblings Smile However, I've been concluding some things that are worth sharing, and that's about being light hearted and just plain happy :--))

so here is my blog entry pasted over:

It's been ages since I've updated my blog. Some things have changed, others not. Prefer sticking to fruits, but still eating other stuff, not being rigid over it. Doing quite a lot of running. I balance out my search while being a house dad and wanting to present a balanced reality to my children Smile)

The main thing that occurs to me these days, is that I know absolutely nothing about anything, really. Apart from being nice to each another and animals, and the world we live in etc, there's nothing much else that matters. It's really simple. Just be happy with what's around!

Sometimes I think, that people are attracted to alternative food lifestyle in the hope that they'll live forever, or something. But everything dies. We live in an entropic universe. Everything is slowly disintegrating... Smile) Everything is actually designed to die. Of course, there are some rare beings who transcend the psycho-physical limitations of earth existence, but their whole mindset won't be one of being concerned over dietary things!! They might live in the Hymalayas, probably do.

So much striving is ego based. I often think of Gautama the Buddha and his own search through fasting, that lead him to the conclusion that just eating healthily was the key - whatever aided meditation and the spiritual search. I say this, because so much food life-style culture is weirdly obsessive and actually based on fear. On the other hand, going through periods of fasting is definitely a good thing and it might lead to true living off light.

I heard a story once, of a strange Saddhu in India, who ate anything at all, in huge quantities. He could consume anything in great quantities, to no ill effect. He could even drink poisons. It was all part of his own ecstatic reality. He was like the opposite to being breatharian!

I haven't concluded much for myself still. Eating fruits is good, eating uncooked is better, but what really matters is the spiritual connection. Nothing else matters apart from that. All the rest is just a bit of fun, as far as I can tell.
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lovedimension



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:59 pm    Post subject: Here I go again... light Reply with quote

It's funny, every time I write something or conclude something, I'm shown that that isn't it. I have to say, yesterday was difficult, I could feel this light pouring onto me... I've been trying again to live normally, feel normal, but all of this doesn't work; it's like a resistance to the light. Trying to eat normal stuff again, but it really made me feel weird. Eating that amount of cooked food was a strange experience. I don't get pain any more, but it affects my mind somehow, and I really do begin to wonder, how human beings can even operate in a sane manner, while ingesting so many unsuitable things. So many repressed aspects of self, to make it possible, to be 'normal' while eating the drugs!

As to the pain I used to have coming off certain foods: I find in interesting that I used to get the same pain re-eating these things, but now I don't! I can eat these things again and feel nothing weird, instead, it's my mind or something that gets affected. I like the idea of being able to eat or not eat anything, but it's not necessarily part of whatever journey I'm on here.

I read back on my blog, and I see this inching process forward.

Back on the fruits again.
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lovedimension



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:15 pm    Post subject: Negative emotions creating over-thinness? Reply with quote

This isn't getting better, it's getting worse! I'm only slightly complaining, more observing really :-)It's just that everything is tasting more and more fake somehow. I've had this thing where I want to be fatter, cause I'm 6'2" and 10 stone - I've been this weight for a very long time - so have been trying to eat more normally. It's not working. My fitness and strength is great on this weight, so perhaps I shouldn't worry. I don't look skeletal, but I do look like someone without one ounce of fat on me. My running strength and stride length really improved. I suppose some of these long distance runners look just like this, which they do.

I'm so bored of foods, even fruits a lot of the time. I wonder what this all means? I get excited over the idea of eating something I haven't for a while, but it's always a let down.

Added is the fact that my weight just doesn't vary much, no matter what I eat. In fact, I seem to gain weight when I'm mostly fruits, all the water I guess. I actually think that it's negative emotions also that can lead to over-thinness - I've noticed that my weight drops a little when I'm in a funk and eating normal foods, but more than can be accounted for by less fruits. This is strange. The most extreme manifestation of this I suppose are anorexics - negative emotions holding the body in a self-depleting cycle. This however is different, I'm mostly very positive and enjoy life and the basis of my life, has always been an understanding of the deeper things of creation. We are beings of light! etc

So my weight. I had this idea that it might be possible to fatten up on cooked foods and so on, and with these new changes in me, I could then eat non-cooked and keep the weight on, as I wouldn't be shedding so many negative emotions. I wonder if anyone has had any experience of this?
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lovedimension



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:40 pm    Post subject: update - ByeBye bread Reply with quote

It's been a while since I updated this blog, so here goes.

I've gone through my coffee and bread barrier. This really was going on a long time, and I got bored of it, the struggle of it. I still have the occasional coffee out with people, but not bread. I don't drink coffee anymore in a desperate way, or even daily, for a fix. In fact, last time I had a coffee, made me feel a bit sickly. So, in the gentle manner in which I've been approaching this food journey, I imagine that coffee will go 100% at some point.

I'm eating mostly fruits though some raw veggies as well and still eating nuts occasionally.

My weight just hasn't changed since last time. I was trying to put on weight by eating loads of the fattiest fruits possible (not very easy), but it really didn't work, apart from not feeling well on it. So I'm a tall slim guy, gotta get used it.

One thing that has really helped with eliminating bready things and the occasional 'social' cooked meal, is expectations. People are used to me now. Big deal. I eat loads of fruits. Someone even laughed (in a nice way!), to say that I'll be on a Channel 5 program soon. I'm ok with it. I really don't miss cooked food at all, it feels really distorted.

I had weird headaches and so on when I really stopped this bread thing.

Somehow I'm more chilled out, and I'm feeling closer to the truth of things and my understanding of reality.
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lovedimension



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:22 pm    Post subject: deeper integration Reply with quote

[Greetings fellow members of this newsgroup - from my blog on blogger - an update after a long time...]

It's strange how the call to a deep change is so palpable, and real. I can feel the deeper forces working on this. But also, what a slow process it is.

I'd say since last time I posted on my blog, that my inner strength has somehow become greater. I don't really seek a high during the day or feel that many lows. If there are lows (and there aren't many!), I can deal with them more fluidly, quickly process them. This is really changing the way I might 'need' something to eat. I'm not denying myself anything though, and eat plenty of fruits and salads. Last time I posted I'd gone off coffee and bread, only to hit coffee big again. At Christmas I had one bug after another, and since then, coffee doesn't do it for me. I have had some, but not enjoyed. Since Christmas that makes about 3 months of negative feelings toward coffee, which is unprecedented. It's kind of shame, as I loved the coffee routine. But this calling I have... is about moving the focus to deeper things somehow.

Likewise with bread. I never found coffee as easy as bread to eliminate for a while, so my mind has tricked me a little here... it's been saying, bread is easy not to eat, in fact, since it's not a problem, have some! lol. Typical addict mentality. Fortunately, bread doesn't instill the same addictive pattern (coffee is the 2nd most traded commodity in the world, after oil...)

Perhaps the main thing I need to express, is to get back at how I started this blog post, as it's here that things are really clear. The call to deeper light, deeper understanding, basking in feelings of love that are entirely overwhelming and thrilling... It's like a messenger on my shoulder or something, saying, we won't let you go, and little by little, we want you to take a step forward in deep transformation.... Unknotting every not, turning over every stone, ironing out every little kink... it has to be done. In fact, the call feels to me, like in a more general manner, is growing in strength. It sounds a little dramatic, but it nearly feels like the message is, do the work, because time is running out...

Peace & Love Very Happy
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Cameron.NZ



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:34 am    Post subject: Re: deeper integration Reply with quote

lovedimension wrote:
The call to deeper light, deeper understanding, basking in feelings of love that are entirely overwhelming and thrilling... It's like a messenger on my shoulder or something, saying, we won't let you go, and little by little, we want you to take a step forward in deep transformation.... Unknotting every not, turning over every stone, ironing out every little kink... it has to be done. In fact, the call feels to me, like in a more general manner, is growing in strength. It sounds a little dramatic, but it nearly feels like the message is, do the work, because time is running out...



Love this... thank you...
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lovedimension



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 11:06 pm    Post subject: Running again, ever more fruits Reply with quote

This slow process of change just keeps going, but I feel like I'm a more active participant in it somehow now. I'm still 90% a raw foodie with that being mostly fruits. That 10% is still bread sometimes. I have no idea why I'm still eating that stuff. It makes no sense. I'm loving smoothies at the moment. My weight at the moment is just under 11 stone, which is up from the 10 stone I was trailing for so long and not enjoying. This is great!

I've started running again, something I dropped for a while. Problem is, I enjoy it too much. I'm having to do some yoga to help balance out my left/right at the hip level, which actually has always caused me a problem, with an acheing ankle and stiff leg. It's one of those ironies of life: when people have seen me run, it's always been with praise, saying I have a very relaxed way of running, with my long legs, but little do they know the real strains going on underneath. I got a rotated pelvis early on in life due to a traumatic event, and my muscles have adapted around this imbalance. This is not good for sustaining a good running posture. It seems to be part of the process now, to really address this imbalance and its cause. God help lol!

I remember last year, on a longer run, when despite my imbalance I'd reached a relax sense of ease, and it was really good, like something was running me rather than me running. Like nature and spirit was in me as I ran. I kind of hope to get back to that. This is why many runners run I think.

Other things I'm doing is really to shield myself from things like the news on TV. I check the headlines on the computer, but never watch the news. Makes a world of difference. Demons abound through TV and the Internet. But at least there's a level of control with the Internet.

I still find it a bit difficult sometimes my food habits with regards to other people. I'm just so lucky though that my wife has adapted to this pretty much. Of course the children just take it as it is. I serve them normal vegetarian food..
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