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Giving up food cold turkey log
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Connor



Joined: 18 Dec 2012
Posts: 6
Location: East Coast, USA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:14 am    Post subject: Giving up food cold turkey log Reply with quote

For months I was a fruitarian and started to intuitively realize that food is a drug. So I started taking steps to stop eating.

Soon I stopped eating and drinking and started experiencing a deep detox. On the third day of not eating or drinking, I had a dream about some cooked food I used to eat. Later that day, I ended up buying and eating that food (peanut butter). After that, this past month, has involved me binge eating progressively unhealthier food.

I have learned a great deal from it

I have decided to quit eating and drinking from this day forth. I believe stopping cold turkey is the best way, as I am just doing what I feel to be right. And eating anything is only slowing down the transition and going against my intuition. I will drink water if I feel the deep need to.

Fortunately, I don't have to work currently and can spend everyday doing what I want, which I assume won't be much other than rest.

At the end of everyday, I am going to post here my experience from the day, and my weight.

Last month, when I wasn't eating or drinking, before the binging began, I weighed 113 pounds. So I got a few pounds to drop to get back to that weight and detox even further. It will be interesting to see what my lowest weight will be.

I will start with today's log.

I woke up and ate a lot of constipating cooked stuff. Eating and drinking stopped around 3pm. My body is very sore from the food. I have been burping and farting all day. The burps are hot and nasty, I am happy I won't have to experience this ever again. I just feel sick. But I know how strong and efficient my body is. I will feel amazing soon, once my body is done detoxing.

It disappointing me thinking back on how I have treated myself eating junk food the past month, just to experience a taste.

But, I am much, much happier now that I am following my intuition. This log is great thing for me. Just typing out my thoughts is great, but having other people with similar interests reading them is amazing.

That is all for now.

Weight: 137.2 pounds
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Cameron.NZ



Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Posts: 65
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 10:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Really excited to follow your progress, Connor - good on you!! I intellectually realise that food is a drug in my life; am not quite so brave as you ... yet. I am quite consistent with fruit juice, a bit of fruit, and once in a while a couple of nuts. Getting closer to living in light, bit by bit.

Glad you're on this forum!
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Connor



Joined: 18 Dec 2012
Posts: 6
Location: East Coast, USA

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Cameron. Nice to meet you. It is so awesome to finally speak to someone who has similar ideals on this food thing.

I've read some of your posts in the past. It appears you are living with people(s) who don't know that you think food is just a drug. A few nights ago I told the person I was living with (my dad), how I felt about food. The pressure of him not knowing was holding me back and I now realize it. It was such a such an emotional weight lifted off of me. My dad doesn't even beleive it to be possible to live with food or water but just telling him how I felt about it was a big turning point for me. If you haven't already, I think telling people close to you how you really feel about food will help you a ton too!


Today's log

Today, I felt quite tired and napped a large portion of the day. My body is catching up on the elimination of all the matter still in me.

I peed a lot throughout the day and had pooped a couple times.

I thought about eating, of course. Everytime I do I think about what it does to me, what my goals are, where I want to be, how I feel intuitively, etc. I just have to keep thinking about those things everytime I have the thought of 'food' so I don't eat again in a moment of weakness. I know overtime it will become easier and eventually it won't be a worry anymore.

I keep imagining myself going out, getting a lot of food and binge eating it. But I have done it enough times to know how it turns out.. Pain, regret, depression, and all that. So when I imagine myself eating something, I have to remember the whole experience, not just the taste part. When I do that, I don't want to eat.

The detoxing is uncomfortable, but honestly I feel so great right now. I have lots of energy and am already feeling much more light physically and mentally. I do know though once my weight drops down more I am going to experience the deeper detox. I will have less energy then and it will be difficult. But that is just how it is. I will stay strong and be successful.

Weight: 129.4 pounds
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Connor



Joined: 18 Dec 2012
Posts: 6
Location: East Coast, USA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today's log

Well. I am a little embarrassed to post this.

The first half of my day I mainly rested in bed. I was feeling more tired than yesterday. My skin was noticeably better (less dry and feeling good). I did some stretching and it felt extremely good. I had a headache and felt other slightly uncomfortable detox symptoms. My eyesight was much better as well. Hell, everything was better.

Food was less on my mind than yesterday. I was feeling very free and was sure I would not eat today.

My dad turned out to be off from work today and he wanted to go to Walmart and get food. He asked me to go with him, and I said I would. That was a mistake. I got there and kept thinking to myself, "I don't want anything." My dad asked if I wanted peanut butter and I said no. But once I got to the aisle where it was located I said "never mind, let's get some."

So I go home and binge on it and a few other things. The first few bites were disgusting tasting, hot on my throat, and gave me bad heart burn until I was eventually numb and didn't feel it anymore. I stopped eating around 1am.

I feel sick again now.

I thought to myself, "why I am eating this garbage? It is making me feel so bad, but I don't stop putting it inside me." This toxic stuff has a physically pull on me, making me act against my intuition and reason. I must stay far away from it while I detox.

It was unwise of me to go to a supermarket full of drugs called "food" while I am detoxing, since I am weak physically and mentally and still having cravings for addictive concoctions like peanut butter.

It was a learning experience and I have no where to go but forward. Next time my father wants to go shopping (which will be in about 4 days), I will say no. If I need to explain to him I don't want to go because I am not eating more, then so be it. I will have to tell him eventually.

I did go 2+ days not putting anything in me in though, which I am proud of.

Back to my natural state again. I will continue with my logs.

Weight: 133 pounds
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Connor



Joined: 18 Dec 2012
Posts: 6
Location: East Coast, USA

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today's log

Last night I planned to throw out of the rest of the peanut butter this morning. When I woke up, I ended up eating it instead. Then I binged on rice and roasted nuts throughout the day. Eating stopped by 11pm.

I am angry. Don't have much else to say.

I am going to take pictures of myself with a digital camera every night from now on. Although I won't be posting them here unless I feel inclined to.

Weight: 135lbs
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JMW



Joined: 29 Nov 2004
Posts: 396
Location: Poland, Poznan

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 8:03 am    Post subject: Conscious Eating method Reply with quote

Connor, how about applying CE method?
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PranaChild



Joined: 30 Dec 2011
Posts: 75

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 9:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow Connor thank you SO much for your honesty, especially about the bingeing and the addictive affects that food has on you. Also extremely interesting that you told your father the truth about what you are doing so you can drop everything and be comfortable just focusing on this transition. I find it ironic because after two years I finally came clean with my Mom and stepdad, who I have been living with off and on, yesterday. Must have been the dec 21 thing because I have been trying to hide it from them and it has only led to dishonesty that does not feel right in my heart. I did my first dry fast two and a half years ago and have known it is my truth ever since. I most recently did 20 days no food or water, while cooking for other people. It was wonderful, minus the depression part of detox. You can read my blog: pranachild.blogspot.com

Anyway, I'm glad to see your posts. I'm on the West Coast (Santa Barbara, CA) Sending you lots of encouragement and love
Looking forward to hearing more.
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sheen



Joined: 16 Jan 2012
Posts: 97
Location: Catalunya

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also thank you for your honesty, Connor.

In my case, the main difficulty when I try to give up eating is of emotional kind. Some couple of days after starting the fast, I start feeling depressed, like my life had non sense at all. Physically I am OK, or even better that before. But the emotional pain is strong. I have plenty of free time and I just don't know what to do with it.

This is no surprise to me, as I have suffered from depression since my early twenties (now I am 39). But when I cease to eat, the feeling is most clear and strong than ever. I realize that this is because eating is a primary way for evading from this feeling, and to "put it under the carpet". Obviously not the most intelligent way to deal with it.

Cheers.
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Cameron.NZ



Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Posts: 65
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Connor wrote:
Hi Cameron. Nice to meet you. It is so awesome to finally speak to someone who has similar ideals on this food thing.

I've read some of your posts in the past. It appears you are living with people(s) who don't know that you think food is just a drug. A few nights ago I told the person I was living with (my dad), how I felt about food. The pressure of him not knowing was holding me back and I now realize it. It was such a such an emotional weight lifted off of me. My dad doesn't even beleive it to be possible to live with food or water but just telling him how I felt about it was a big turning point for me. If you haven't already, I think telling people close to you how you really feel about food will help you a ton too!


Hi Connor,

Well, it seems we're on the same page with "telling people"... I've had some really good discussions with my husband, as well as friends that we're both very close to. The friends are amazingly supportive, and the more we talk, the more sense it's making to them. And because of this, my husband is paying attention. I've left some articles open on the computer regarding this path, and he's read them all. Not commenting on anything, which is fine, but he's in the loop with this! And I feel really good - I'm not a proselytiser, just quietly do my thing and live my life the way I feel is best for me. It's just nice that there's no 'secrets' in my home.

Thanks again for your posts; really glad there's so many of us willing to do the work to move towards living without needing to eat.
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Connor



Joined: 18 Dec 2012
Posts: 6
Location: East Coast, USA

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 7:13 am    Post subject: Re: Conscious Eating method Reply with quote

JMW wrote:
Connor, how about applying CE method?


Yes, I have been. I believe I still have some physical addiction to peanut butter and yesterday it made me act against my intuition. An unconscious decision. I have eaten a lot of the stuff over the past couple weeks. I am feeling much better today though as far craving it goes.

PranaChild wrote:
Wow Connor thank you SO much for your honesty, especially about the bingeing and the addictive affects that food has on you. Also extremely interesting that you told your father the truth about what you are doing so you can drop everything and be comfortable just focusing on this transition. I find it ironic because after two years I finally came clean with my Mom and stepdad, who I have been living with off and on, yesterday. Must have been the dec 21 thing because I have been trying to hide it from them and it has only led to dishonesty that does not feel right in my heart. I did my first dry fast two and a half years ago and have known it is my truth ever since. I most recently did 20 days no food or water, while cooking for other people. It was wonderful, minus the depression part of detox. You can read my blog: pranachild.blogspot.com

Anyway, I'm glad to see your posts. I'm on the West Coast (Santa Barbara, CA) Sending you lots of encouragement and love
Looking forward to hearing more.


That is so great you came clean to your mom and stepdad. I am impressed by the amount of days of not eating or drinking.

I spent today reading about 30 of your posts on your blog. Very interesting stuff. So great you are sharing that for anyone to read. The ups and downs of eating and non-eating you go through are again, interesting. The way you explain how you feel when you don't eat for a while and how reality changes is beautiful really. Like you described it, a fairy tale. I want to live my whole life like that. Thank you so much for sharing.

Also Santa Barbara is great I have heard. Have a friend from there. Her name is Zoe Elliot. Perhaps you know her.

Deshimaru wrote:
I also thank you for your honesty, Connor.

In my case, the main difficulty when I try to give up eating is of emotional kind. Some couple of days after starting the fast, I start feeling depressed, like my life had non sense at all. Physically I am OK, or even better that before. But the emotional pain is strong. I have plenty of free time and I just don't know what to do with it.

This is no surprise to me, as I have suffered from depression since my early twenties (now I am 39). But when I cease to eat, the feeling is most clear and strong than ever. I realize that this is because eating is a primary way for evading from this feeling, and to "put it under the carpet". Obviously not the most intelligent way to deal with it.

Cheers.


I understand completely. Definitely a mental battle. Although I don't think it is a hard one if one doesn't make it one. I can't say much to help you but stay strong! Smile

Cameron.NZ wrote:

Thanks again for your posts; really glad there's so many of us willing to do the work to move towards living without needing to eat.


Awesome your husband is understanding. And yes it is great more and more are realizing the wonders of a food-free life.

Today's Log

Nothing in me today. Simply, a great day.

Weight: 129.8lbs

And a few details about my body. It's 6 feet tall and 20 years old.
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Connor



Joined: 18 Dec 2012
Posts: 6
Location: East Coast, USA

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 9:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today's log

Okay. So thought about just saying I'm done posting here cause I was thinking no one wants to read a log about someone failing. But realized that is not true. And posting here is helping me. Even if know one reads it. It is good to type out my feelings everyday.

I had another nap in the middle of the day. After waking up I felt so refreshed. My head and chest felt so much less inflamed and I could stretch and breathe easier. I am also so fascinated by how good my eyesight starts becoming when I don't put things into me. I really have only scratched the surface of the possibility of my body. I want to experience its greatness.

As it became night I started thinking about food more. I was going back and forth on the idea of binging. I felt no hunger and knew eating is going against everything I feel is right. Well eventually, it happened. I went to a store, and stole all the things I wanted. The whole experience was ugly. I risked getting arrested, harmed my body and delayed my detoxing, stressed myself out, etc etc.

The eating was far from enjoyable. The taste of the things was so bland/boring to me. I don't enjoy it anymore. Honestly, the only enjoyable thing I put into me today was water, that offset the extreme dryness of the cooked stuff in me.

There is a lot of different thoughts involved when I think about eating food. And eventually my thoughts lead to the action of going and putting stuff into me.

I know I should just feel what is right and do that, instead of letting my ego/thoughts decide my actions. If I did that, I feel like my life would be wonderful. There is so much more I could say, but I have already said enough. It's just more thoughts.

I feel like I shouldn't put things in me.

Weight: 132.8lbs
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Cameron.NZ



Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Posts: 65
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's interesting that the thoughts of hunger came on in the evening; I actually find this to be true to me as well, and have wondered about it. Is it 'boredom' -- although I don't actually feel bored; is it that as evening comes on there's a sense of needing to 'fill' a place in me? I wonder..

What do you think?
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Lianna



Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Posts: 105
Location: Europe

PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Itīs always interessting for me, to read the experience from others, equal, if they succeed or fail.

To the night binging question: hm... perhaps of less distraction from the outside than at day time? Or because of less/no sunlight...? Although... hm... no, donīt really believe it... But less distraction from the outside (at day time, the world outside seems always so loud to me, at night time, it became so silent...) could be the reason...
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PranaChild



Joined: 30 Dec 2011
Posts: 75

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Teehee! I have an answer Smile

Night time is time of cleansing! As the sun sets and transition is made to evening, I always have lots of mucus come up. It just comes out of my lungs. It's a time when the depression will hit. But if you transition this time with some yoga and let the sadness leave, you won't eat. I always get creative at night. And a lot of times I want to walk. Also you will start feeling adapted to temperature at night. I even started swimming in the ocean, and sprinting naked and barefoot on the beach Smile So if you can get through a week at least, not eating at night, you will see, the magic starts to happen. Even all the plants start glowing around you. I miss this. I have been eating the past two weeks and am feeling so yucky. I am looking forward to transitioning back to my (our) original state again. Living on love!

xoxo

Amy
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PranaChild



Joined: 30 Dec 2011
Posts: 75

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

By the way, Connor, I got to a point where I enjoyed going into a supermarket and just looking at the food! I felt fed by the energy of being in there (no hunger feelings). Just give it some time and you won't even want to buy anything. Remember, I did 20 days dry fast while working as a chef!

I can't say too much now, because I fell back into the food thing (especially over the holidays) but know, without a doubt, I will be back to "normal" soon!! Most likely in Baja, MX with a small group of people to transition. I'll keep everyone posted (here, and my blog)

Feliz Navidad!
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