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awa food journal
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 5:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

5.15.14 sungazed 15 minutes
8-9 4.5 papayas 850g? flesh

11-12
800g cuces
700g papayas

5-6
750g chico sapote
1 fig
chewed 1/4 an avo, swallowed less than 50g flesh
2 papayas 350g flesh
200g cuce
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

5.16.14

sungazed 20+ minutes in morning

8-9 300g marang flesh
400g ? papaya flesh

11 500g cuce
250mL water
1 fig

12-230
350g papaya flesh
350 cucumber
3 mangosteen
2 kg oranges ( juiced in mouth of course)

5-6 1 guava
maybe 500g papaya flesh
150g chico sapote
few bites of cacao ( only fruit)


meditated 3 hrs
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

5.17.14
0 sungazing- cloudy
8-9 4 mangosteen
700g papaya flesh
250g marang flesh

11
450g cuce

12-1 850g payaya flesh
5 mangosteen

330
40cm sugar cane?

5-6
700g papaya flesh
150g chico
400 avocado flesh all swallowed

meditated 3 hrs

cut left pointer finger with machete pretty bad, was gushing a lot of blood ( now 4 days later it is healing up really well i have to say ). didn't clean it just left my hand covered up in the blood, looked really much worse than it was, everyone was offering me hey let me clean that was salt / clorox / bleacfh / tumeric / bee pollen and i was like naaah it's just good

have had these openings on my legs continuing for about a week, lots of pus oozing out, everyone is freaking out like you got staph infection you need antibiotics / doctor / clinic / noni juice / whatever , you're contagious blah blah blah... like...
you have to vaccinate YOUR kids because YOUR kids might get MY kids sick (even though MY kids have the vaccine and therefore cannot get sick)- i know this sounds bitter and sarcastic maybe it's MY way of letting off steam
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

5/18/14
sungaze 0

8-9 500g papaya flesh
400g avo flesh

10-12
1.4kg lychee

1-2 1.1kg papaya flesh
1 cuce 150g
1 jap weird cuce 200g
2 mangosteen

didn't sleep well through saturday night, was up early today (sunday)

5-6
400g papaya
500g+ mamey sapote shared it with my friend jordan good thing didn't try and eat it all : ) would of died
was really like so full full full in the stomach during 7-8 meditation

went foraging with my friend vik today he was like so excited to just get a few mangosteen ( which we gave to vipassana teacher who is coming to do the course )

took 200mL soursop tea b4 bed

I foraged a piece of sugarcane also and chipped my front tooth eating it. I have bitten in to like hundreds of pieces of this same sugarcane with no problems. My tooth was just rotten. But I'm sure it will regrow itself and only boost my confidence . no pain at all which is swell : )
only told a few people cause most of the m would of really freaked out.


Last edited by Awareness on Thu May 22, 2014 12:33 am; edited 2 times in total
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 12:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

5.19.14

slept in real late - til like 6:30 am

sungazed 5 min


meditate 3 hrs


legs seem to be closing up shop a bit, especially left leg nowhere near as much pus ( now energy diverted to heavy digestion- mamey sapote is very good sweet fruit but-- it's HEAVY like avocado ))


8-9 few bites marang - will be last one for a while

1.1 kg lychee


10-12 900g cuce

12-130 1 kg papa flesh

600g avo flesh

5-6

700g papa

500g mamey


again this is the night i was thinking of actually when i was way way way too full, even moreso than yesterday, but... probably was way too full both days, but meditation was really tough this night, maybe not as tough night b4. really good mamey sapote though, i would of enjoyed much more if i had eaten less and chewed chewed chewed.

////////////////////////////////

5.20.14
8-9
900g papaya
350g avo flesh
150g mamey flesh

10-11 400g cuce mostly juiced in mouth and spit out

12-1 5 papayas - 1.1kg flesh

230 600g oranges

6pm

350g reall unripe durian ( but somehow i like had to eat it cause i smelled a bunch of other rotten ones) i kind of enjoyed it.

2 hours meditation. plus about 30 minutes more at night lying down.

I LEFT the meditation center today around 230-3 PM. My schedule/ life / internet access / meditation are likely to be very ... i don't want to say chaotic... in the coming days/ months / weeks. but my living situation is really up in the air. I'm not very worried about it though. we'll see what happens.

I've seen the benefits of continuing a meditation practice... but i dont know if i will... realistically... i'm sure i will meditate some time in the future... and at least some now... but... i mean i can always go back to the center if i want to but i'm pretty glad to be free right now. i will try to at least right down a shorthand list of all my food for the day.

OH OH OH also-

I had a "nocturnal emission" last night in my sleep- i guess that's what that implies. My energy is definitely noticeably lower i think-- but I mean-- not THAT bad- I know maybe you can say it's all in my mind... but... anyways that was the first one i had i believe or maybe second ) since i started writing this. My vibration was really high at some points before this, i could feel energy running up my spine. and i know my energy level will be really high again at some point in the near future depending on inputs like food , sunlight, air quality, rest, meditation etc. so it's really no problem. i'm excited going forward
and there is a different meditation technique- that i need to give as much attention to in the future as i've given to vipassana in the past.

cliff notes : might not be updating here for a while much in future but will try to track at least some daily inputs mentioned above and Outputs each day.
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 2:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

let me try to guess what i had yesterday 6.1.14

5 pounds lychee
5 pounds banana
bit less than a pound of cooked peanuts with no salt
almost 2 pound mamey sapote
atleast 1 avocado maybemore
maybe 2 papayas

that was a rough day i guess, it was market day. haven't had any salt or nocturnal emissions since lastupdate. been meditating at least 1hra day onaverage butcan't say any more

i was sleeping on my friends couch for 3 or 4 nights and really notfeeling well- now i slepton floor withjust a small mat last night and feeling much better.

going through some tough healing now. might startfasting soon but ... not really planning on it. but i want to stay in my friends cabin and just... only leave once a week or less to getfood and juststayin there not talking to anyone , sleeping as much a si want, being completely lazy, etc.

today i had so far
maybe 3 pound cantaloupe( 1 pound - 454g i'm too lazy to convert now )
8? papayas
a few really really small avocados.

those peanuts i had yesterday are only cooked food i had since april 1st. another meditation course starting in a few days but i have no interest. my machete got stolen ( i left it somewhere really silly ) but its ok , will spend the rest of my money on a new one : )

kind of getting excited about buying land ( which is funny i have 46$ to my name and i'm thinking about buying land... how will i get the money i dont know but i jut know it will happen but... need to stop thinking about it now it doesn't really matter so much anyways.

been keeping my nose in the books, really being lazy, kin of forcing myself to do a few asanas and keep up some semblance of routine but i just am not really into it. but the stretching helps so much i think i can commit to that at least, and sporadic meditation when i have energy.
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

this is the third day i've had cooked food/salt / worse crap than usual.
10th, 11th, 12th, i can't say exactly why. been really eating A LOT.

today i had like 14 oz of bread ( pretty salty i think )- 2hass avocados from cali/mexico, 1 other avo, some canned tomato without salt, a few lychees, a small amnt of durian ( and it's only 11 am haha )\

yesterday i have 16 oz of bread, maybe 4 avocados ( 2 hass , 2 other )

june 10th i had maybe 12 oz of tortilla chips, 32 oz of salsa 2 different kinds, some chicken and rice and noodles,

i was doing pretty well there- had no salt for like probably 70 days, and only 1 time had cooked food in that 70 days.

the moon is pretty full right now, my energy feels pretty good but these past 3-4 days have been really rough ( of course trying to digest this stuff is not easy )/ i'm not sure how long this binge will last, but i know it will end some time, hopefully pretty soon, and i will be back to the "see how long i can go without salt " game : )

I wasn't thrilled to post here with this "failure" but if i only post when everything is going smoothly, what's the point? i wish i could post here, but i just can't commit to writing everything down right now, I know that sounds lame ! i'm feeling pretty good somehow, although sure of course it's pretty discomforting sometimes for myb ody to be processing all this stuff.

haven't ejaculated since last report, i hope to keep it that way, but with all this salt / protein / foreign matter coming in, it could only be a manner of time. xoxoxo.
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well I kept binging Thursday + Friday + Saturday...
thurs- had another loaf of bread I think that was like 16 oz

Friday- can't remember I think rather healthy, had a few durians and pounds of lychees

it's all kind of a blur... I ate a few big durians sometime in these days... didn't really sleep or rest enough...slept under a banyan tree near coconut island I think...

on Saturday I had some "pizza bread" ( flour, yeast, salt, cane sugar, black olives, parm/mozz cheese, can't remember wat else ) which finally really put me over the top.- i'm guessing.. by the end of the day I was having explosive diarrhea, stomach problems, feeling a bit sick... I also had some noodles and tofu dish I think it was called pad thai I don't know... I got both of these nasty things at the market and there were TONS of ripe bananas around and other stuff, I don't know why I got them, I also bought a really expensive durian for like 15$, was super good probably 1 pound of meat in it.
made it back to my friends cabin this night and planning to stay there for a while
my feet are reall badly injured and I need a rest
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yesterday 6.15.2014 I had

3 pounds lychee
3 pounds mamey sapote
~600mL coco water
~700mL water
~350g mango
2 cherry tomatoes

should of bought more food at the market for the coming week but ... somehow I think i'm going to fast ... we'll see
wasn't very hungry yesterday... just feeling sick from previous binge...

today 6.16.14
so far I've had about
3-4 pounds of bananas + peels
2 heads of lettuce
some tomatoes
1 very sm avo

planning to eat more tonight but no salt or cooked stuff : ) I hope
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, i'm back here after not posting for 3 months!
I just finished a vipassana 10 day course about a week ago. and now i'm staying at the "center" again for the past week~. And I think I'll be here for a while but I don't really know.
and there is lava flowing nearby, and i don't really want to write about it again ( http://kenyafruit.blogspot.com/ ) .. ..

I've been eating fruitarian for a few days... but i don't know if i'll write everything i eat ... maybe later... been on computer too long now, but just wanted to check in and say hi to my old friends... and maybe i'll feel inspired to write something soon.

since apparently i'm obsessed with this, let me write here before i forget, i masturbated on august 26th I believe. and i haven't spilled any seed since then. I just thought everyone would really like to know that. And right now i'm moderately horny but not humping peoples legs or anything.
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i know a little ridiculous i'm posting meals again now that i'm eating healthy but didn't post for like 3 months of eating a lot of junk, is what it is.

9/16/2014:
3 hrs meditation all 3 of these days<>>

bfast+ brunch : half a 27 pound watermelon

2.5 # bananas

110g lettuce
2.5 sm avos
140g? mac nuts

9/17/2014:

1 papa
3.5# nana

drank few young cocs

L 4# nana
some water

D 3# orange
600g avo flesh
50g mac nut

had nocturnal emissions night of 9/17 slash morning of 9/18. hopefully will not have another one for 4 weeks but realistically i think will be like 2-2.5 weeks if lucky.

9/18/2014

energy pretty good today considering last night's eruption. can't remember any sexual dream. really numbed myself pretty hard today with the fats. am going to try to do baked pumpkin or potatoes or bananas at night more in future instead of nuts + avos, they're really ... i don't know ... i feel like i need some grounding...

and i'm spending a lot of time around 2 kind of crazy people ( they also think i am crazy of course I am )... and i feel like i need to numbing... will complain moer about them later when have time. we'll see wat happens with the overt fats , there is too much overt fats in hawaii btwn avo, coconuts, and macnut. i am not buying ANY more mac nuts ( i hope )

B 1.5 papa
2.5# bananas

decent lot of water+
drank a few young cocos

L 2 papa
3# bananas

second lunch 80g mac nuts

Dinner 150g avo flesh
can of kidney beans about 400g maybe 200-300mg of sea salt in can
170g mac nuts
few bites of v young coconut flesh

also unfortunately i'm living at this place with a commercial kitchen and there's infinite food around, thankfully most of it is not very tempting....

<3 good night
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

forgot about 700g of oranges i ate yesterday. also sungazed about 20 minutes yesterday. and about 20 minutes today

ate :
1 lemon juiced
500g oranges
2# bananas

Lunch 2# bananas

second lunch : 375g avo flesh, 300g poi

dinner 140g mac nuts
maybe a 3 or 4 pound pumpkin baked
1 pound sweet potato baked

wow cooked food has left me really really hot! and it took a long time to cook so i ate the mac nuts while waiting. i really want to cut all this fat / mucous / crap out... will make sure i buy a million bananas on sunday
haven't quite finished this pumpkin .. i should really just toss it away but probably won't : )
i was going to cook this stuff INSTEAD of overt fats but it kind of became in addition to overt fats.
been working pretty hard tues - friday, like 4-5 hrs of hard work, mostly sickle-ing weeds
lot of wild pigs on the property i'm staying, just looked out window and saw a 200+ pound one, and a gecko

was really wishing i had money to buy a property today. guess it's not quite time for that yet. tried to listen to some music on youtube but wasn't in to it at all. lot of sexual thoughts lately, mostly during meditation.

was looking around brother air 's site breathairmusic.com or some and he mentioned he wants to open a sanitorium in future, basically same thing i want to do. maybe will make post about it. that's what i want money to buy property for of course.
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wiskerton



Joined: 14 Sep 2014
Posts: 14
Location: hun

PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

libido increase when body toxic, make the lot of fat, and cooked food etc
when im fasting dont get my mind the gurls Smile
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

9.20.2014

2# oranges

maybe 7# bananas throughout day
2# jackfruit

1# sweet potato leftover from yesterday ( couldn't 'waste' it haha )

3 hrs meditation
maybe 10 min sungazing

felt pretty good yesterday i think 1 pound of sweet potato better for me than 1 pound avocado. didn't really do much work yesterday

got some news that the meditation center i'm staying will be closing down so, some of us were a bit upset, though in the end probaby for the best, hard to see that now really. lot of things going on here, lava flowing creates a lot of uncertainty as u can imagine. also the owner of the property doesn't want hassle and stress of upkeeping it and putting in a lot of work, he getting older, has some big things going in his personal life possibly. but at same time we just lost a great community resource and some of the people are saying well we will find another site soon that's even better- maybe we will but it seems unlikely to me that a comparable site can be found any time soon., and if we do we will be starting back from nothing compared to this site has already been ideally developed to suit the needs of running vipassana courses... change is difficult for me sometimes and this is still really just sinking in.

a lot of the other people here were really eating their feelings / eating heavy food yesterday so am glad at least i had no overts or salts etc cause htey were really indulging, which i totally understand.

thanks for your comment wiskerton i haven't always found that to be true, not sure there is anything wrong with having some sex drive, of course it shouldn't pull u out of control to do silly things either, we'll see, maybe justifying tom yself : )
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 11:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ahhh yes, the lesson of impermanence. Basing security and happiness on outside circumstances.
Im fasting this weekend and feel my libido lessen and my love for all things increase.
Personally i think there is nothing wrong with anything.
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