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awa food journal
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AlwaysAnyWayFree



Joined: 29 Sep 2014
Posts: 27
Location: Florida, US

PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
cause i'm sure you'll all biting your fingernails checking my blog every 25 minutes to see how many xx,000 calories i ate each day


hahaha

Quote:
and i'm not really looking for a partner or 12 disciples or friendship or anything like that but if it happens hopefully i'll be open to it. right now i haven't had much alone time in a long time and am not in the best space because of it, but am working through it , trying 2 stay more centered in mysel


nah dont worry. i wouldnt bother you if i made it out there. im just looking for good places for me to work through my stuff alone too. i havent been on my own for... my WHOLE LIFE! i need to go through my fears, dive headfirst into the deep end, walk the scary parts. cause or else ill never be able to move on from here and change my life around.

the lava though, it be nice not to have to worry about it at all. if i was there on my own in a more isolated area on the island with no compi or internet, i wouldnt know how id get active news about the volcanoes. i guess id walk up or down the highways to town and ask around now and then?

i dunno if i should just focus on costa rica instead, if the volcanoes are ever gonna be a real major problem? maybe ill just become a smoldering lava body instead overthere in hawaii and get over the hassle already hehe.


Last edited by AlwaysAnyWayFree on Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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AlwaysAnyWayFree



Joined: 29 Sep 2014
Posts: 27
Location: Florida, US

PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i was just looking thru workaway.info
found lots of really really great really really chill worktrade opps i could do. just gotta get around paying for the stupid membership so i can contact these people!

theres actually alot of families on there asking for help around their land. and their so generous too! a good amount of them too dont really ask for all that many labor hours. and they feedyou right from the farm! fresh live organic greensveggies and fruits!

if i can get enough mangoes and bananas and papayas into me from them each day, i could be able to keep up with the work, plus id get at least a couple days off for me to explore! im definitely thinkin hawaii now. GOSH I FEEL SO GREAT ABOUT THIS!
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

let me say, the lava is a real problem, i don't want to make too light of it, but there're tons of awesome locations that won't get affected by lava. and this is a great island. BUt pahoa / puna area , the air could potentially get dangerous to breathe, and i may leave or may not, who knows where the wind will blow me.
buti would LOVE to meet up with you, i don't think you would be any bother, sometimes it is not to have a friend to go foraging with or getaway driver, etc ; ) i wish the community ofpeople and fruitarians here would band together a bit more closely, we could accomplish so much... i'm working on figuring out how todo this : )
work trading can be toughbut u just got to assert yourself a bit and negotiate a fair deal
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DAMN i hope togod i can manifest some bananas this week!!!!! i have a few pounds of green ones, that's it : (
was reading my early blogs... when i used to weigh 155 pounds and not eat like a pig ! ; ) now i weight like 165-170???? i don't feel much different but i think ideally i should be about 135-140. that probably seems low to most people but ...i have a lot of extra weight... carrying even 5or 10 or 20 less pounds than i have now up a coconut tree would sure make a huge difference.


2hrs meditation
minor sungazing
a few hrs sunbathing,clouds in way, but i feel like i gotsomegood rays
climbed a coco tree and get raped by fire ants and it was burning / itching me for like 2-3 hrs
went swimming, drank a little bit of ocean on purpose)
ate today in no particular order :
4 heads of lettuce, probably 900g
1 pound bananas
3-3.5 pounds of baked sweet potato(Locally grown)
3 passionfruits
2 lemons juiced
3 pounds oranges juiced
water of 6-7 coconuts, meat ofone really young coco
some water
this baked potato really killing me, like having a rock in my stomach.

lettuce is 3$ a pound
bananas are 1.5$ a pound but i missed the market on sunday where i usually get them for .75 to 1$ a pound
lemons on property
orange on property
cocos i foraged
sweet potato like 1.75$ a pound from exp grocery store, every grocery store here is expensive : )
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AlwaysAnyWayFree



Joined: 29 Sep 2014
Posts: 27
Location: Florida, US

PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

while listening at the moment to mylifesoul:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSj91yopjDg

i was just thinking.. i dont need to do any worktrade. i mean i dont mind working for food and shelter, but all i really want is a place where i can relax, get naked, forage a little, and do all i want all day and fasting.

with a worktrade opp, the accommodation would come in handy, but then i dont get to fast and take it easy all week [or all month...]. theres the compromise.
cause ya know..?---fasting and work dont go tahggetherr.

dont know where id find the kinda place im after, thats not too buggy.. which means its probably gonna have to be a shelter of some sort..

if there was such a place for me, lets say when i get a flight booked already, i could clear my system out with cucumbers and tomatoes [they rush through me so well and effortlessly like nothing ive had before] and a ton of water a few days before the flight, that way, by the time i get to hawaii, i will be completely clean and clear and ready for a good fast.. and then at last i become....

rainbow light body


AlwayAnyWayFree.blogspot.com


Last edited by AlwaysAnyWayFree on Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

can be hard to find a reasonable work trade arrangement, but there are some out thereif you look. I don'tknow what your currentdiet is like but if you're having trouble w staying fruitarian... i don't know how great fasting is going to be ... you will probably just eat twice as much after you break the fast... or maybe that's just me and my lack of self control? buti don'tthink fasting for a few days is going to help you... a few weeks or months heck ya! : )

let me know if you find that place you describe:) want to eat more cuce& tomatoes myself! they don'tgo thru that fast, well tomatoes yes, cuce not really.

will check outthatsong later ; )

xoxo
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AlwaysAnyWayFree



Joined: 29 Sep 2014
Posts: 27
Location: Florida, US

PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I don'tknow what your currentdiet is like but if you're having trouble w staying fruitarian... i don't know how great fasting is going to be ...


well, before i came up here to missouri [where my bones are getting cold and need some cooked food], i was in sunny warm florida where i was pretty much all raw, eating watermelon all day everyday for the whole entire year, or straightup mangoes from all the trees around in my neighborhood when they were in season.

up here in missouri, im having some simple plain steamed butternut squash now and then. its the mildest cooked food my body can handle without getting a sick nauseating acidic feeling. that and carrots [extremely well steamed].

steamed white jasmine rice too i can enjoy, but enough of it feels like a plug inside me and moves too slowly. makes me anxious.

Quote:
buti don'tthink fasting for a few days is going to help you... a few weeks or months heck ya!


yeah. the point of me going to hawaii would be just that. to stay there permanently and fast long enough until i manifest what i want. could take weeks or months for me. even days would be nice too but chyou never know..? ;]

..i was just thinking... a house sitting arrangement would be exactly what i need. i could probably work something out with some nice understanding person up there. just gotta spend some time on the classifieds.
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oct 8, 2014
3.5 cups quinoared
1abiu
1coco meat young
4 coco h2o
water
10oz spicy salt hummus
2 head lettuce
2passionfruit
meditated3 hrs
read porn/stories/pics/ movies probably 4 hrs
had some precum but not from touching self.
think full moon was lastnight
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oct9, 2014
sunbathed 30 minutes
did TWO 1.75 QUART enemas, it was really
too much water, i was shitting out red quinoa all
day till bedtime, i don't know how helpful it was to do, but afterwards the first time the water that came out, actually both time, was pretty nasty.( now i am writing this on oct13th)
and planning to do another enema tomorrow(14th) morning. i think i will use only like 1 quart of water or so inside of me, i couldn't really hold in 1.75atall, it justhad to come out right away. thinking ofadding lemon juice
or baking soda or sea salt orsomething,but may justdo water again most likely, although maybe
spike w some lemon

ate :
10 abius ( really started2 appreciate the taste of them. this day moe than ever.)
6 pounds bananas
2 waterof coconuts
4 starfruit
water
few bitescoco meat
meditation 2hrs+20 min
comptime about 3 hrs Sad


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

10.10.14 friday
6 abiu
2starfruit
4 passionfruit
3 coconuts waters
3 coconuts meat, v young
sunbathe 30 min
sungazing2 min
4 cups ofdry buckwheat
1/2 an onion
finished all this crap by about 2pm
then had alemon juiced and some water
really feltawful, cantbelieve i packed in all thisbuckwheat, giving my stomach a good workout
meditated2 hrs
comp time approx 3-4 hrs,
\really horny, was reading some pornographic stories+ watched a few vidoes but didn't masturbate
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oct 11,2014 saturday
2# oranges
7abius
1coco meatnot that young
sunbathe 15 min, sungazing0-5
2 hrs med
3 cups buckwheat
1/2an onion
220g avo flesh
1 and a half mangos
half a pili nut
can't remember comp time but like, it was probably a lot, i remember reading some porn stories in the morning i don't really want to jerk off very badly or i would ... i suppose, right? i mean, i wouldn't feel guilty , truly, why should i?probably 3-4 hrs on comp
went tof oraging mission late at night, this is more justfor my reference, got quite a few citrus tangerines etc this night..<3
//////////////////////////////////////
sunday 10.12.14
14 orange/tangerines juicedin mouth maybe5#
5 poundsbananas
3hrs comp time
650g lettuce
200gmac nuts
600g tomatoes
300mL tang juice
meditate 2 hrs
not much sunbathe worth writing, maybe few min
/////////////////////////////////
MONDAY 10.13.14

8 tangerines
16 abius
3.5 pounds of bananas
300g tomatoes
375g lettuce
140g mac nuts

all mac nuts i bought are gone now : ) in 2 days. nosurprise.
i have a decent stock of bananas & tangerines
will meditate 2 hrs today
probably sunbathed 30 min
now it is pouring pour ing rain so hard ! ! <3
glad to be up to date with this again and could read my notes easily
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

had also 1 papaya
and another 1.5 pounds of bananas today
10.13.14, now am definitely done eating. way too much time on comp lately, going to have to find some other way to entertain myself orsomething <3 night
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow brother i was just reading yur blog, i really got you set on hawaii : ) for better or worse, maybe it's just another escape though? WHatever you do, i highly recommend leaving ur partner behind asap, u have my full support, maybe he can give you some money to fly here? u will think of something if u want itbad enough haha...
it's hard for me to imagine i'll ever end up with a partner, i guess who knows
!
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AlwaysAnyWayFree



Joined: 29 Sep 2014
Posts: 27
Location: Florida, US

PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awareness wrote:
wow brother i was just reading yur blog, i really got you set on hawaii : ) for better or worse, maybe it's just another escape though? WHatever you do, i highly recommend leaving ur partner behind asap, u have my full support, maybe he can give you some money to fly here? u will think of something if u want itbad enough haha...
it's hard for me to imagine i'll ever end up with a partner, i guess who knows
!


thanks. :']

yeah, thats exactly what is it. an escape. but that doesnt mean its a bad thing. ive been in this thing with him for four years, and i know how he is entirely and what this is gonna turn out if i stay here. i was never happy in this and i never will be, because honestly, i dont want to be.

so, im all for an escape. ive had enough of this and have stopped thinking that if i stick through this with him and work at it hard enough, that he will change and this will all be alot more comfortable, but nothings changed since the start of it and i have accepted that thats how its gonna be. i dont care anymore about changing him, and if he doesnt want to, its really just pointless for me to try anyway.

i dont wanna ask him for the money to fly me there. ive done that before [wanted to go to colorado at the time!! brrr, snowy! not for me no more!] and it just turned into a dramafest full of second thoughts and ended up not going anywhere of course. its alot $$$ anyway. im just gonna secretly raise up money and leave when i got enough and im ready. im gonna prepare myself these next several days, gonna clear out my body with apples [theyre in season], water, and enemas, so i can 'arrange something' with somebody on craigslist for some cash. gotta hold back on touching myself too, itll help me get in the mood and get through this.. since i went vegan and got all purity-obsessed, i havent been crazy about having sex with people who arent vegan, but this is my fastest easiest way outta here and i reallyREALLY dont want to have to work some official job or do hard labor and be around so many people which makes me anxious.


Last edited by AlwaysAnyWayFree on Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Awareness



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 140

PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sunbathed maybe 10 min, SG 0ish
meditated 2 hrs
did some enemas, as im looking thru my feces/ rotten food i realize more and more... no thing i eat is becoming part of me, ( ofcourse) it goes out nearly the same way it goes in... ( of course)
couldn't really hold in any amount of water for adecent time, used some lemons that were getting old,

ate: maybe 7 pounds of tangerines juiced in mouth
6 pounds bananas
1 papaya

back really hurting today dont know if from yoga poses i did yesterday
or enemas or something else. felt bloated all day today, maybe shot some air intomyself w enema, definitely kind of felt like i ate more than i felthungry for, i keep stretching my stomach and it keeps wanting to go back to normal size... story of my life..

AAF- i didn't mean to say it wasa bad thing, there's no good or bad, whatever it takes to get away from that guy, it will bedifficult atfirst,depending on yourself, i know it has been for me, not that i'm fulling in dependant yet,

i don't seem to have much problem touching myself, not that it's a problem, but going vegan i have noticed, sex drive way down, same with cutting down/out salt although i've been eating ocean water a few times on purpose lately just outofcuriosity. i have thought the same thing maybe i will have sex for money but i dont know who would be willing to pay me, and non-vegan ppl i know would have such weird energy... and i dont need money bad enough... although i'm really poor now... hopefully something will present itself when time comes. but i dont think that's a bad option or look down on it at all, if opportunity presented itself maybe would do it. i been really really increidbly lazy lately and am enjoying it very much : ): )
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AlwaysAnyWayFree



Joined: 29 Sep 2014
Posts: 27
Location: Florida, US

PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
did some enemas, as im looking thru my feces/ rotten food i realize more and more... no thing i eat is becoming part of me, ( ofcourse) it goes out nearly the same way it goes in... ( of course)



yeah its incredible how everybody in the world just cant see that. i think its because most people when they eat animal products/substances and unclean things, it turns to nasty stank sludge in their body looking nothing like what came in initially [just because its all rotting and putrefying], and they think it changed because of some 'digestion' 'nutrition' thing going on inside them. but if they just ate clean simple foods, it would all come out of them looking mostly the same color/texture and recognizable as it came in, and realize that it hardly changed because the body didnt do anything but push it right back out in the best fastest way possible. the only difference is its mashed up/pureed because you chewed up your food in order to swallow it.

Although... even all the fruitarians/highcarbvegans like on 30BaD dont even realize that their food just passes right through them with no 'digestion/nutrition/calories' thing going on. i guess they all still want to believe that they need food for energy just because they get tired if they dont eat, but the tiring is really just part of the cleansing.


Quote:
i keep stretching my stomach and it keeps wanting to go back to normal size... story of my life..


yeah, story of humanity.. hehe.. ;}

Quote:
i don't seem to have much problem touching myself, not that it's a problem, but going vegan i have noticed, sex drive way down, same with cutting down/out salt although i've been eating ocean water a few times on purpose lately just outofcuriosity.


yeah, when i went vegan, my sex drive went just gone, but i guess since ive started eating cooked starches lately [for the past several months--simple an clean tho, plain unseasoned rice and squash], its gone back up.

Quote:
i have thought the same thing maybe i will have sex for money but i dont know who would be willing to pay me, and non-vegan ppl i know would have such weird energy... and i dont need money bad enough... although i'm really poor now... hopefully something will present itself when time comes. but i dont think that's a bad option or look down on it at all, if opportunity presented itself maybe would do it. i been really really increidbly lazy lately and am enjoying it very much : ): )


its actually very easy. ive done it a couple times before [like four years ago and thats how i ended up meeting my partner].. lots of people are willing to give you some cash. everybody knows its hard times and can sympathize [some people just like paying for sex anyway, its a turn-on]. you would just put an ad up on craigslist saying real short an simple that your having a rough time, could use a little help, a little cash [i asked for around 40$/60$ depending on how confident in myself i was feeling at the time], to afford food and stuff, and that youll help them get off in exchange. 'help me/helpyou'. people expect at least a [headless] body picture on the ad of course if your asking for money... of course wayway more guys than women are willing to lend a hand like that ... in my case, i set up to meet some guy at night at a park a block from where i was staying at the time.. we did it in his car [tho he drove us to a more discreet area], he liked me [i guess..? i didnt really like my appearance..], he gave me 60$ like i asked, dropped me off where we met up, and i walked back to building where i was staying.

i did all that for food for a couple weeks while i was homeless before i met my partner. he had an ad up there too and he was the last guy to contact me. he was willing to let me stay with him and later it became something more.

oh and about having sex with nonvegan peeple, yeah, im just not crazy about their unclean bodily fluids, saliva, sweat and oils an stuff because of their diet. i dont want that stuff on me, on my skin, on my lips.. vegan guys tho, that might be a different story..

yeah i was lazy about it too, and really nervous and scared since i had never touched anybody before, but i was in a bad cituation before, in a really bad town.. so i just had to get myself to do this, get out of my comfort zone, and live on the edge a little.
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