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Is this my destiny??
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everytime I'm wanting to fast now I have so many temptations and people around me wanting me to go somewhere with them, eat and drink with them, and it affects me and then they say I need to "live life more" and I'm thinking that their version of "living" is my version of dying pretty much. I just want to disappear all the time. I would love to stay "here" and participate in anything and everything but my body seems to reject it so what can I do?? I really enjoyed this link I found here:
http://goldenageofgaia.com/into-the-golden-age-of-gaia/golden-age-of-gaia-articles-from-before-211212/will-money-food-and-drink-exist-in-the-fifth-dimension/

I'm reading more about what this transition actually means and it is what some would refer to as "death." I suppose some of us for some reason are more sensitive than others and are pushed to go this way. There's no other explanation really. I've enjoyed many things on this 3d earth plane, of course along with the bullshit as well that hasn't been so enjoyable.

Eckhart Tolle has this whole concept of a "new earth." I understand what he is saying now. He never mentions fasting or not eating or whatever but I guess everyone's awakening is different.

I have seemed to come to my own conclusions but can relate fully to what all these spiritual teachers are saying about non attachment to material and living in the moment. But then again, they seem to be charging a lot of $$ for their teachings so it's a bit hypocritical. Eckhart Tolle seems to be living the "American Dream" as he teaches everyone else to be spiritual and non attached. Not sure I understand, but I don't really care I guess.

Anyway, I'm still testing waters lately and some part wishes I didn't have to totally let go here, but my body seems to be equipped with this ability to not need to eat or drink, and feel fully alive. sigh...
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was dry fasting today and let my spirit guide my every move. When i was walking around I naturally started walking in a figure 8 pattern over and over again. I Start to feel so much love in my heart for humanity. I think we work many lifetimes to get back to source in a conscious manner. Those are my thoughts Smile[/quote]
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 9:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Found another good site to help explain this:
http://www.zakairan.com/ZaKaiRansArticlesBooks/Articles/DyingtoAscend.htm#.U9Nmu2x0zMw

Broke my fast with some juice and salad. All I tasted was sugar and salt. Eating not so much enjoyable at all...
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have decided that going back and forth between feeling blissful and happy and compassionate in my heart from complete fasting and meditation to eating, socializing, and working is not going to be some sort of "balance" for me. This has led me to become quite irritable around my friends, family and at my workplace. It is not so great. I feel that no matter how much I let my mind try to take over here, it's my heart that is winning the battle. I have no idea who I truly Am, only these glimpses of bliss. But I have to ask, why me? Why I'm going through this and what's going to happen when I return to Source? I know, that...only I know. But staying in the third density is not serving my soul any longer.
Thanks to all those that have read my posts.
Infinite love and blessings to you all.
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Lianna



Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Posts: 105
Location: Europe

PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.angelfire.com/stars3/breathe_light/stars.html

http://www.the-starpeople.net/indexus.html#sternensaatenfaq

http://www.universe-people.com/english/svetelna_knihovna/zip/en_svetelna_knihovna/en_bringers_of_the_dawn.zip
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Than you Lianna.
Since my last post I have made peace with myself that everything is going to be ok Even if i keep "hurting" myself with eating. Because it does seem to block my love. I mostly don't want to hurt my loved ones.
Lately I've been wondering if i don't Get this right, Am i going to come back and do this again? Or did i come here as an alien for a one time experience?
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wiskerton



Joined: 14 Sep 2014
Posts: 14
Location: hun

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

how you mean block your love?
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see myself in everyone and everything. When I'm fasting I start to feel a love expanding out of me and it feels like its growing so huge. Like it will engulf the whole planet.
I have no idea if every soul will go through this path or not. Lately I've been listening to a lot of spiritual teachings and reading a lot. But at the same time I know the truth lies within me and I don't need to listen to anyone else.
When I eat I turn off these feelings of love and connectedness. I get sensations in my body etc. I actually feel dull and sick most times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q_h39ndkQA
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wiskerton



Joined: 14 Sep 2014
Posts: 14
Location: hun

PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

you mean, sabotage yourself being more spiritual?
i know what you say, sometimes i really hate the teachings, teachers, i always search the truth, but sometimes i feel too many teaching, technics and form, and things what i need to learn, and this false thinking stressful, so actually they block me, and my shine what dont need anything else, maybe the pure childness what is my essence need let it free
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No I never really wanted to be more spiritual I guess, I was just looking for some purpose here on this planet...whether that was working a job or a hobby or what...but I started trying different things and realized nothing brought lasting happiness and everything was a cycle: work, eat, sleep, etc. So that is how my mindset was able to be free and then the food thing happened a bit more naturally I guess.

What is strange for me is when I say things out loud, like "right and wrong good and bad" That doesn't sound truthful anymore. I don't think there is any one way to do anything and I feel that all "paths" people take are the "right" path. I see the Universe functioning as one organism, not that everything is separate. So this is making me have depression because sometimes I think I want things in life but my mind will switch the next day or the next hour.
When I am still and not DOING and going within myself, I don't have so much desires.
I don't see any one as more of a teacher than the teacher we all have inside. All the "teachings" and "lessons" are inside us already. What I do enjoy now is listening to a teacher like Adyashanti, Osho, etc. and realizing I already know what they know! I was listening to Adyashanti last night and was thrilled to hear he views so much similar things as me. This way I'm not putting someone "above" me.

I would also like to add that I have been reading that some of us have come strictly from the higher dimensions and may not have had the regular human past life thing. We come here to anchor light and then leave to go back to the higher realms.
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 7:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I"m not sure if I'm looking for advice or just blabbing but after all of this growth in consciousness I can't seem to function in "life." I might be getting laid off work as my performance has been really crappy. I can't take this job seriously and am more concerned now with all this spiritual stuff and was caught at work reading about Christ consciousness instead of making my sales report, so I'm totally screwed in that department. I feel edgy and snappy a lot because a lot of what I eat affects me, and I really don't eat that unhealthy at all...rarely have sugar. But it seems my addiction to things has increased, like when I start to eat something, I can't stop. I feel at times I'm living in purgatory. These glimpses of light I have seen are like, so amazing. I'm wondering whether or not to worry if I get laid off or not, I would have to move out of my apartment and I don't know what to do with my stuff, etc. I guess I would have to live with my parents. Maybe I'll sell all my stuff and travel I don't know. Kinda want to just do NOTHING. Like go sit in the forest or the beach and just fast and meditate. I don't even think I have the energy or drive to travel.
Met someone the other day that is attracted to me but I am really not in the mood or position for a relationship, which kinda sucks, because he was really good looking and sweet. I am having a strange time going in between feeling attached and then completely unattached to everything and everyone here. I feel I am going mad sometimes. I am perplexed by the thoughts I have, of if I've had many past lives and now I'm clearing everything through ascension, and if everyone will go through this? I'm so confused. I have thoughts of suicide. It really sucks. If anyone has advice I would appreciate it. I don't understand why this is happening to me and why I even agreed to come here and if I do commit suicide will I have to come back and re live this nightmare?
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wiskerton



Joined: 14 Sep 2014
Posts: 14
Location: hun

PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i cant say nothing good for you, because you will realize your truth, nothing important come outside (money, job, partner etc)
just to know, i understand you full, these things happend with me and happening
i made the travel thing, quit my job, selling my stuff, feel the madness meaningless, eating crap and fasting, and suffering everytime and last time when im doing this (1,5day fast, eating baked s###) im realize, im not happy afterall, my life is empty, the food and entertainment try hide my unconsciousness deeds, i realize i want now something what makes me proud or fill point in my life, then i let go this ideas, and think why cant be ok now? the answer is, i can, but i dont need anything from outside, i dont need to move on tropic to the fruit forest "eden" myself causing the sadness to me, to stick to the things and ideas, and the suicide, i dont want, but i also realize im ready for everything, left the dead stuff
you right, you cant escape this s###, (no way suicide, moving, be fruitarian etc) you can feel yourself whatever you want

i want to you feel better, but nobody cant help you, accept this
im dry fasting now for 1day and im feel fine, im not dehydrated, not hungry, im thinking this self supporting feeling can be long, and maybe thats my experiment as a breatherian Smile who cares?
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 5:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the reply.. Yes I know unfortunately I have to do this for myself. My idea of getting married, etc was just an idea I guess. I was just going through life doing what everyone else was doing: school, job, etc I was always wanting to try a lot of things in life. Now I see the cycle of everything and the addictions and the temporary satisfactions. I feel there is much more beyond this and even work to do in the higher realms that helps people here on Earth. That's what I sense. I don't know why I break my fasts, usually after two days. I get bored? I feel like hurting myself for no reason? I get annoyed that this seems to be my path and everyone else is "enjoying" themselves. So, I also understand what you are experiencing, Wiskerton. Hope you keep up the dry fasting, I guess someday I will. Surrender or suffer.
By the way I was also thinking, that don't we all go back to the same place/the same source? Does it really matter how we go?
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So is everyone else's mood and emotional state affected by food? Since I don't need to be on this planet and feel I could go any time, the only point to staying and still indulging in food is to find a way to stop the mood swings that go with it.
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RBE



Joined: 09 Jun 2014
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been going into these random states of joy i feel like I'm literally going to walk into another dimension. Besides that I've been experiencing a lot of anger and fear... when I'm eating, working, etc. Sometimes I'll be so on the moment i will sink into my chair and feel like im going to dissolve into it. Also lately people have been saying things like it seems Im going to disappear into thin air Smile
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